The Extraordinary Love Story of an Ordinary Couple
by sidedishofsimile
Summary: Bella and Edward grow up as childhood friends on the brink of something more as their adolescence nears. However, after a divorce and two moves the pair face their teenage years apart only to be reunited when they enroll at the same university years later. This is a story about growing up, growing apart, learning to stand up for yourself, and learning when to ask for help. AH. HEA.
1. Homesick

_Disclaimer: Twilight is the intellectual property of Stephanie Meyer. I am merely playing with her characters to create new art under the guidelines set out by Fair Use. I am in no way profiting from the following. Also any associated lyrics belong to their respective authors as noted._

* * *

**Part 1: Young Adult  
**

Chapter 1: Homesick

_"It's tearin' up my heart when I'm with you  
But when we are apart I feel it too  
and no matter what I do I feel the pain with or without you"_

**-Tearin Up My Heart by *NSYNC**

Bella Swan looked around at her eleven by twelve space where she would be living the next nine months, with a break in December, and she didn't know what to think.

_Should I feel homesick? But I don't even really have a home. Forks hasn't felt like home for a while…_

She shuddered a bit at how her life in Forks became so unbearable in high school before quickly dismissing the associated feelings.

"So Bells, I guess this is it," her father, Charlie, said digging his hands deep into his pockets and leaning back on his heels. His eyes were focused on the beige rug Bella's yet to be introduced roommate must have purchased.

Charlie never was good with anything emotional and Bella knew well enough to not push him beyond what he was capable of, which to be honest wasn't much. Not to say Charlie wasn't a good father, he just didn't know what he should do, always judging and over thinking each action.

_Should I buy her things for her room, or would she want to pick them out herself?_

_Should I make her dinner, although I'm not much of a cook, so should I just order pizza? Maybe she doesn't like pizza, so should I just wait for her to tell me she's hungry? _

But, Bella understood. She learned to understand. It wasn't necessary for him take her to a Daddy Daughter dance, Thursday nights at the diner were good enough for her. She knew he cared for her, loved her even. He just couldn't always show it.

Bella knew her father was going to miss her and the sentiment was returned. She reminisced cooking meals to keep him from picking up some fast food after work. She would miss sitting in the living room while he watched Sports Center and she worked on her Calculus homework. Just as Charlie wondered if he was doing the right thing, Bella wondered herself if she was being a good enough daughter.

_Should I call to see if he's coming home soon or just put the leftovers in the fridge? _

_Should I tell him that I'm going to the library after school or will he not even notice?_

It was a far cry from a perfect father-daughter dynamic, but it was theirs and she was going to miss it.

_I guess I still have awkward phone calls to look forward to._

"I guess this is it," she sighed echoing Charlie's earlier adage.

"Thanks again for helping me move Dad. I appreciate it," Bella said as she slowly approached him, intending to initiate an inevitable stiff embrace.

"Anytime," he choked a bit and Bella was overcome by the emotion in his eyes. There was a bit of a glazing effect, but she noticed his resolve harden before a single tear could actually form.

"You be safe. Don't hesitate to use the pepper spray. You can never be too careful. I know how college boys –"

"Dad we've been over this, I'll be careful," Bella quickly ended another conversation about potential rapists.

Bella was amused that Charlie could barely utter the word sex in front of her, let alone condoms or birth control, but when it came down to the motives and statistics of date rape and stranger danger, the guy was more articulate than a trained thespian.

"And calling every once in awhile would be nice too," he blushed a bit at the admittance of his disconsolateness over her absence.

"Of course. You're going to be begging me to come back to school in December so you can have the bachelor pad back to yourself again," she cheekily teased him.

"And don't go throwing any wild parties in your bath robe. I don't think Mrs. Cope would appreciate all the ruckus."

Charlie couldn't help but laugh at the Hugh Hephner image Bella was crafting and how Mrs. Cope, their annoying and testy seventy-six year old neighbor, would react. It was farfetched and hilarious.

"I promise Bells. No crazy parties. The Chief of Police does have a reputation to uphold after all," he said puffing out his chest in show. Bella played along and rolled her eyes at his antics. It was how you were supposed to act, right?

"I'll miss you baby girl," he whispered against her forehead as he leaned in for a final goodbye.

Soon after folding up the receipts for all of their recent purchases and promising to call once his flight landed back in Seattle, Charlie was out the door and Bella was left sitting on a new purple comforter in her college dorm room – alone.

Her roommate, a girl by the name of Rosalie Hale, had all of her essential belongings arranged neatly on her side of the room. Bella filled in her half with a few objects that paled in comparison to Rosalie's. She could just tell that she was in over her head. She noticed fine jewelry, beautiful handcrafted fabrics, and many items that she had noticed in the windows of the more expensive stores at the mall today.

_I mean really, who needs a seventy-five dollar small vanity mirror? _

_Rosalie Hale, apparently._

Bella knew this was an aspect of Saint Raphael University that she would have to adjust to – all the wealth. It was a prestigious private university tucked away into an affluent suburb of Chicago with a tuition rate to match. She remembered on her initial visit here, Charlie asked as they toured with a group of other prospective high school students if she really wanted to go to school with a bunch of WASPS. Bella insisted not everyone was that way – except her roommate apparently. Besides there were some rich people who lived near Forks, or at least used to, she unsuccessfully tried to convince him.

After an evening of failed, pointless, and excruciatingly pathetic activities with the other girls living on her floor, Bella found herself alone again in her dorm room with only the terrible memories of the fire prevention and safe sex instructional videos from a few hours before. She didn't understand how she was supposed to retain that candles too near any drapes could cripple a room to ash in a matter of minutes if the narrator looked like a pedophile from the 1970s. The stache didn't work on anyone but Charlie, and even then it sometimes grossed her out when bits of Harry Clearwater's fish fry would get trapped in it. Needless to say, her first twelve hours at St. Raphael's were turning out to be some of the most pathetic of her life to date.

She didn't know where this funk she was in was coming from. This was college after all, the time to go out and have new experiences, meet new people, put yourself in uncomfortable situations in order to discover who you really are. But Bella didn't have the courage or motivation to do any of that, even though she knew she should.

The truth behind her cowardice was, she was certain, that she inherited Charlie's social ineptness. She squirmed when showed attention and her posture didn't exude confidence, or heaven forbid even sex appeal, rather she tended to curl within herself and intentionally blend into the background. This wasn't to say she pegged herself as one of those "emo" kids in high school. She didn't dwell on the emptiness she felt her first day of high school after she left with Renee to move to Phoenix and then back to Forks only a year later to find _him_ gone as well. Instead, the emptiness was compartmentalized, only to manifest itself in tears and stomach aches that one week a month and she lost herself in her obsession of books, film, and music providing for a richer internal cultural experience than an external one with her peers.

It didn't help that Bella was picky with who she associated with and in a school where there are only 100 people in your graduating class, that was almost social suicide.

She was the Chief's daughter so hanging out with the popular crowd headed up by Lauren Mallory and Tyler Crawley who drank, smoked pot, and committed misdemeanors on the weekends was out of the question. She knew being caught defacing the old water tower on the grounds of the abandoned air force base would have given Charlie a coronary.

She reflected a bit deeper and realized that all of the activities of the different social circles would have given him premature heart complications. There were the film nerds who Bella initially tried to acclimate with, but their love of NC-17 movies made the prudish Bella a bit uncomfortable. She accepted that it was art, but she didn't need to see an aging Marlon Brando's ass, she'd take your word for it.

Amongst a sea of other segregated social interests, all of which were in some form unappealing to her, only one person was left, Angela Weber. She was the daughter of a Presbyterian minister and devoted girlfriend to Ben Cheney. The last bit left Bella to spend a lot more time on her own after her junior year causing her on again, off again friendship with Jacob Black to flourish.

She was tempted to call her two friends or at least see if she could work the Skype thing on her computer and correspond that way, but that would be defeat, she told herself.

_Don't cave. As soon as classes start and you can throw yourself into your schoolwork, things will be fine. The first day is weird for a lot of people._

The mantra kept playing in her head as she stripped down to her underwear (the humidity was unbearable even with the cool breeze off Lake Michigan), grabbed her moleskin journal and battered copy of _Something Childish and Other Stories _by Katherine Mansfield, and climbed underneath her sheets.

The story of two young and devoted lovers was one of her favorites, if not for the reason that she always thought of him. It reminded her of his mother, Esme, who had given it to her with the intent on fostering her love and breadth of literature. She always showed an exceptional amount of kindness towards Bella, that although Bella knew her mother showed affection towards her in her own way, Esme Cullen definitely left her to resent some of Renee's own ineptness.

But above all, the story reminded her of Edward. In Bella's mind, Edward and her were two star-crossed lovers. Starting out as best friends, they would reunite after being forcibly separated only for Edward to truly realize how much he loved Bella. They would consummate their love over and over again, wed each other in holy matrimony, make beautiful red haired and green-eyed babies, and whisper sweet adorations into each other's ears until they took their last breath together.

That was the life Bella dreamed about safely each night, yearning to see him again with her entire being, yet knowing that it was as improbable as Charlie cooking something that didn't come out of a can or the freezer. That provided her with the comfort to continue to dream so evocatively. If these dreams were never to come true then she could make them as salacious and utopian as she wanted.

* * *

**2004**

"You promise to IM every day after school so I know if Lauren Mallory and Tyler Crawley have broken up yet?" Bella asked in jest, but also in some seriousness. She was deeply concerned that if Tyler ever broke up with Lauren then Edward would be the next boy in her long line of conquests.

"How about I IM you every day after school and tell you how Tyler Crawley ate a handful of worms on a dare as if he were on Fear Factor? Angela can keep you updated on all of that relationship shit." He spat at Bella's concern of Tyler Crawley. He saw the way he looked at her at Ben Cheney's graduation party and he didn't like it at all. No one should have seen Bella in a bikini except for Edward. He knew that if she wasn't moving to Phoenix this summer after all, Crawley would have pounced on her that very day.

She felt scolded by his brusque tone and noticed how he mentioned to avoid addressing Lauren all together, instead focusing on his deep and sudden disdain for Tyler. Sure Bella and Edward were close, they always had been, but their relationship was becoming incredibly one sided and Bella was more than aware of it. There was no way that he would ever feel as deeply for her as she did for him, even if they were only thirteen.

"Bella, I promise to talk to you everyday. I promise to write you a really long letter all about how much I miss eating your chocolate pudding cup at lunch everyday. I promise to email you every time Emmett does something stupid. I promise to IM you everyday after school. And I promise to call you after Friends so you can tell me your latest Ross and Rachel theory." Edward emphatically assured her as he pulled her in for a hug.

"Now you're just mocking me," Bella whined as her mouth turned downward. It was times like these that he felt more like an annoying brother instead of the boy her thirteen year old heart was irrevocably in love with.

"I mean every word of it…except the Ross and Rachel part. You know how much I hate that show," he said with a smirk that she could feel against her temple.

"Fine. You better do everything else though." She said with a large smile on her face and Edward welcomed that he was the one to put that expression on _his_ Bella's face even if he would miss her tremendously.

"Are you sure that your dad won't let you come live with us? Who am I going to have for a friend in high school? Have you seen Mean Girls? High school's vicious," he teased slightly, but really was hoping that his parents could end up adopting her or force the judge to change her parent's custody arrangement.

Bella had always been in his class, since first grade when they both started at the same school, not like there were many other options in a town the size of Forks. Those eight years were everything to Edward. Now he didn't know how to function through church masses and spelling bees and food fights without her.

This really, really sucked.

But Bella just laughed at his whining and the pout on his lips dropped even farther down his chin.

"Edward, you are the only guy I know that would make a reference to Mean Girls! How many times have you seen it? 10? 15? 20?" Bella persisted.

"It's only been five, ok? Let it go," he replied petulantly, crossing his arms over his chest and slinking further down the bench beneath the Gazebo in his backyard.

At that point in time Edward thought it was good riddance to Bella Swan.

Bella still couldn't fathom why Edward had seen the movie so many times. Her hormones and naivety not fully understanding all of the reasons why boys were attracted to girls and why the Christmas Pageant scene always made him squirm in his seat.

"I'll miss you, you know? Not just your pudding cup." he whispered sadly and just loud enough so she could hear.

"I'll miss you too. Not just your Dad's gnocchi," Bella responded equally morose and trying very hard not to shed a tear.

The two young teenagers, who still hadn't fully hit puberty yet and weren't quite finished with their *NSYNC stages, Bella wanting to marry one and Edward wanting to look like one, were a sorry sight for sore eyes. They both were staring at the ground beneath them, grouchy frowns on their faces and wondering how in the world they were going to survive without the other.

* * *

"Shit!" came a muffled groan that shook Bella out of her slumber. She looked over to her ancient digital alarm clock and saw that it was only half after ten, still early for a college student like her to have fallen asleep. What had awoken her wasn't necessarily the sudden and unforeseen expletive, but that the voice it had come from was masculine. It sounded like a deeper kin to the voice that made an appearance in her dreams every night. Suddenly she forgot how to breathe.

When the fluorescent overhead light flickered on and Bella was able to wipe away the beginnings of the crust that comes with lethargy, her face focused in on the couple in the doorway with complete and undoubted confirmation at who they were while theirs was a bit more wavering.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you," the tall blonde bombshell, who Bella immediately deduced to be Rosalie Hale, her roommate, apologized.

"It's only 10:30pm, I was expecting you to still be up."

"Really, it's OK. Don't worry about it. I was expecting to still be up too. I must have dozed off," Bella mumbled, timid in the presence of this seemingly self-assured and image of perfect femininity and the tall beefy man next to her, who Bella refused to look at in dread of her suspicions being confirmed.

"Um, well I'm Rosalie and this is my boyfriend Emmett," Rosalie remembered her stately Conneticut manners as Emmett looked confusedly at the girl with a sheet pulled all the way up to her chin.

"Hi. I'm Bella," she murmured wondering if the intense look on Emmett's face meant that he recognized her. Part of her desperately wished that he would so that he could tell Edward and they could finally see one another again, but the most overwhelming part of her was terrified of that very option and that she may even desire it.

"Bella…" he mumbled her name several times knowing there was something familiar about this –

"Bella Swan! From Forks!" he exclaimed.

_Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!_

"You two know one another? How is that even fucking possible?" Rosalie began fuming, tempted to stomp her foot like a five year old whose favorite toy was just taken away.

"Fuck! How are you?" Emmett bellowed barreling up to her lofted bed and picked her up like a kid with a large, dimpled grin covering his face. It was infectious, and despite feeling distraught and terrified of what this all meant, Bella couldn't help but return his good humor, at least an outward display of it.

Between her small frame and his athletic strength it was an easy enough task to pick her out of her bed and toss her around like the five year old he remembered. His excitement from seeing one of his childhood acquaintances kept him from realizing that the light bed sheet had fallen from her grasp as he twirled her around in his arms and set her on her feet in just her white cotton bra and Power Ranger undies.

Realization of Bella's less than respectable state fell like a lead balloon in the small room and she couldn't remember the last time she blushed so hard, it was sometime yesterday. After a moment of looking at Emmett's blanching expression and Rosalie's pointed stare she quickly picked up the tossed sheet and wrapped it securely around her body.

"It looks like Emmett and I disturbed you more than I thought. We'll step outside for a sec while you freshen up," Rosalie raised her head a bit higher, straightened her spine a bit more, and grabbed her dumb-struck boyfriend slamming the old creaking wooden door behind her.

Bella grabbed the nearest clothing items and threw them on in just enough time before Rosalie made her way back in sans Emmett. Bella was more than disappointed for she was actually now looking forward to seeing Emmett since he displayed quite a fondness for seeing her. She could only hope his brother would be the same and that he wouldn't mention her choice of underwear ever again. The unbidden thought that he might tell _him_ landed in her head like an atomic bomb. At the first thought of it she sat straight up to fix and tame her hair. She knew she was a lost cause, but what if Emmett told his brother that he saw her? That she was nothing special? That she was just as awkward as she was in middle school?

"Maybe we should just start again?" Rosalie asked in a much kinder voice than she had used a moment earlier. She was from Connecticut after all, she could play the game of socialization better than any of these Midwesterners or West Coasters for that matter.

"I'm Rosalie Hale."

"Bella Swan. It's nice to finally meet you."

"Likewise. It's nice to actually meet a person I have heard so little about, yet has made such an impact on the Cullen family."

Bella would have blushed at the last part, but couldn't react further from the shock of Rosalie's statement.

"Um, I'm not exactly sure what – "

"Emmett just filled me in a bit back there."

"Oh…what exactly did he tell you?"

"Just that you and Edward grew up together, were fairly close, that sort of stuff."

Bella remained silent, getting her overactive imagination caught up in all kinds of scenarios Emmett must have relayed to Rosalie about her relation to the Cullens.

_She's just a good friend of the family's. She followed Edward around like a lost puppy. She moved away to Phoenix then we moved to Chicago and never spoke to her again. _

Christ, she hoped he said it differently than that!

"Do you want to tell me how you know the Cullens? Do I have it wrong?" Rosalie asked with much too enthusiasm and curiosity than she should have.

"I think I need to shower."

It was 2:02 am and Bella's first class started in a little over eight hours, but she couldn't sleep – she didn't want to sleep. She wanted to spring out of bed and run to Edward's room so she could run her hands through his bronze hair, feel his perfectly shaped lips, and look into his emerald eyes. She didn't want to be pretending to sleep in her uncomfortable twin bed knowing that he was sleeping in the building next door. He was two hundred yards away from her at most.

_After all these years…_

"Bella, I swear to God if you don't go to sleep, don't be surprised if you get smothered by a pillow," Rosalie growled at her.

"I'm sorry Rosalie. I didn't know I was making that much noise," Bella whispered back, successfully scolded and feeling guilty for wanting to ask a million questions more about the four by six glossy prom picture Emmett helped Rosalie hang on the wall – Edward's prom picture.

"Is your insomnia because of him?" Rosalie sighed, internally cursing Edward for being a pain in her ass even when he wasn't around. If she looked like shit on her first day of classes he was going to pay.

"Really, Rosalie I'm sorry for keeping you up," Bella apologized in order to equivocate the questioning that was bound to ensue, but by the time the words came out Rosalie already had her Tiffany lamp turned on and both girls were sitting up facing each other on their newly installed loft that Drs. Hale had paid for.

"Look, let's just clear all this crap out now so I can hopefully get a few hours in," Rosalie took a deep and annoyed breath preparing to explain inane and superficial details of what Edward was like now. She could just picture Bella asking stupid and wistful questions like, "what's he like now?" "was he popular?" "is he just as dreamy as ever?" Rosalie couldn't help but be a bit facetious.

"What's the deal with you and the Cullens?" Rosalie skipped straight to the issue at hand with no evasion.

"First you and Emmett embrace each other like long lost brother and sister. Then you escape into the shower and dodge all of my questions with shoulder shrugs and clipped yes and no answers. If you're going to bring the issue up like that you have to spill. Now."

Bella chewed on her bottom lip. It wasn't that she wanted to intentionally hide things from Rosalie, she just didn't know how much to reveal without sounding like an obsessed stalker and hopelessly and pathetically in love girl who would never be loved in return. Maybe she really was a theatre kid deep inside, the melodrama seemed to weighing pretty thick lately.

"Bella…" Rosalie egged on. She wanted answers now, damn it! If only for her own curiosity.

"Well…so…as you know before the Cullens moved to Chicago –"

"Lake Forest."

"What?"

"Lake Forest, where they live. The suburb."

"Oh, yeah, before they moved there, they used to live in Forks where I'm from."

"I thought you said you lived in a rural small town," Rosalie interrupted, not being able to picture in a million years Esme sitting in some greasy spoon diner. How would that family go from a low middle class town to the affluence of one of Chicago's wealthiest suburban towns?

"Well, yeah I am."

"Please, don't take this the wrong way, but I just can't picture the Cullen family in a town like _that_."

Bella couldn't help but feel a small sting at Rosalie's intonation. Her insecurities over whether or not she was good enough for Edward now, not sophisticated enough, cultured enough, pretty enough, were unlocking with each insinuation at the Cullen's superior status.

"Sure, it was a small town, but Port Angeles which is larger is nearby, not to say the Cullens didn't stand out. They did. I think Esme was the most posh person to ever grace that soil. Everyone loved the parties and events she hosted for local organizations."

"They still do," Rosalie nodded in agreement.

"Anyways they lived in Forks and Edward and I just became friends. It was so long ago I don't really remember how it happened, but my earliest memory is that I wanted to play blocks with the boys in kindergarten and not house or whatever it was that the girls were doing and none of the boys would let me. It was the age of cooties after all, but Edward was the only one who offered for me to play with him," Bella cringed at the ridiculousness of the story. She was falling into the trap she was afraid of – telling Rosalie too much.

"He was a loner, always keeping to himself. He was so insecure that it was difficult for him to make friends. I always thought a lot of it had to do with his adoption, but he never complained or said a word about it…" Bella trailed off quietly thinking about how this must have tormented Edward. He hardly spoke a word about being adopted. She couldn't even recall him using the phrase "birth parents" before. Any time she brought it up he just said that Esme and Carlisle were the only parents he had.

Rosalie saw Bella's distant and contemplative look and remembered all the times she talked with Emmett about his own adoption. They helped each other deal with their past demons so much and Emmett was always so cute how he tried to act tough and mighty to mask his sensitive heart that he graciously shared with her. She smiled at the thought, a sharp contrast to Bella's pensive frown.

"Then I moved away the summer before Edward and I were slated to start high school. After a year in Phoenix I moved back to Forks, but they had already left for Chicago. I never saw him again," Bella breathed out matter of factly.

Rosalie wasn't buying the façade.

She never would have guessed that the Edward she knew would ever be friends with this girl. Sure she was nice and sweet and despite being extremely annoying at the moment, Rosalie did fancy her, but she seemed too good for Edward. She wasn't suppose to be tainted by the guy who pranced about breaking girls hearts, using them, just to crawl back to Tanya and get drunk or stoned again. From the reverence in Bella's voice when she talked about him, Rosalie knew she must have been the first girl, which made her heart break for Bella and want Edward's balls in a vise that much more than a usual day.

"Tell me what you know about him," Bella asked to distract the attention from her. She was done talking. She wanted to listen now.

"What do you want to know? You probably know him better than I do," Rosalie shrugged off the question. She couldn't tell Bella what she really knew about him. It would break the poor girl's heart even more and it wasn't her story to tell. Bella held him up so high on this pedestal of his uncorrupted pre-asshole self; Rosalie didn't want to be the one to smash that fantasy.

"Does he have a girlfriend?" Bella said in small and timid voice once she could find it and stop her heaving masked as coughing.

"Well there is Tanya. They dated in high school. I think now it's just a casual thing. I mean they both go to school here, but Tanya is a year older than him and I have a hard time believing that she would want to be exclusive. It goes against her nature. Plus, I wouldn't put it past Edward –" Rosalie caught herself before she said too much. She didn't want to be the bearer of bad news.

"Put what past Edward?" Bella pounced on the unfinished thought.

_To grab the first piece of ass that comes his way_, Rosalie wanted to say but settled for something with a bit more decorum.

"It's just that Edward hasn't been in a monogamous relationship for awhile. That's all."

"Edward Cullen, right?" Bella asked astonished.

She couldn't get over that this description of this crass and vulgar guy was her Edward.

"The one and only."

She couldn't believe it.

"He never talked about me, did he?" Bella was feeling scared and tired now that the weight of reality was pressing on her. He had forgotten about her. When he sent his last letter he sent away his last will to hold onto her. That's when the tears came unbidden.

"Oh Bella!" Rosalie gasped and stealthily maneuvered their adjoined lofted beds and got into Bella's to hold her as presumptuous as it was.

"I'm having lunch with Emmett tomorrow, do you want to come? He'd love to see you again."

Bella froze. She couldn't see Emmett if Edward was around. She wasn't ready to see him, to face him. If Edward didn't want her, she had to make sure she didn't want him either.

"I'm not ready to see _him_."

Rosalie knew whom she was referring to.

"OK. Good night then Bella. And call me Rose."

"Good night Rose."

* * *

A/N: Well I hope you all enjoyed the first look into this story! The first part of the story switches between Bella and Edward's childhood and time in college. Please let me know your thoughts or any other musings filling your pretty heads. Until next time lovelies.


	2. Last Dance

_Disclaimer: Twilight is the intellectual property of Stephanie Meyer. I am merely playing with her characters to create new art under the guidelines set out by Fair Use. I am in no way profiting from the following. Also any associated lyrics belong to their respective authors as noted (and Vitamin C for her song Graduation that has been an anthem for anyone who graduated college/high school/middle school in the early 2000s)._

Again, this is rated M for mature. Please do not read unless you are 18+. This chapter includes some mild language and underage drinking.

* * *

**Part One: Young Adult**

Chapter 2: Last Dance

"_Won't you let me walk you home from school?_

_Won't you let me meet you at the pool?_

_Maybe Friday I can get tickets for the dance_

_And I'll take you..."_

**-Thirteen by Elliott Smith**

It was Saturday, Bella's first week of college had a few bumps, and her broken heart left her perpetually paranoid, but nothing that she couldn't handle by plastering on a smile at the appropriate times.

She liked all of her classes except for her honors level Investigative Reporting class. Only the strong survived this class that proved few were strong. For now it was fine, interesting even, but her professor was hellbent on breaking the will of his students. Not only was he rude, he was the least encouraging person she knew, continuously harping on the students to get out while they could. There were no career prospects in journalism, he preached.

"All of you came here to this expensive institution to prepare for your intended career. You've taken the exams, gotten the grades – perhaps in some cases bribed a few influential and pretentious academics – yet you've all made the utterly stupid mistake of majoring in journalism. Say goodbye to a career. There isn't one. At the end of these four years," he paused briefly to dramatically take off his eye glasses in a swift movement of an old Hollywood actor and squinted straight to the back of the lecture hall, "maybe five for some of you, all you will have done is taken some classes that teach you skills you can't apply and wasted Mommy and Daddy's money."

The worst part about his lectures was that he was partially right. The news was filled with reporters losing their jobs because no one read newspapers. It touched on the harsh reality that the Internet wasn't as a reliable source as print or non-cable news. Anyone could be a journalist on the Internet and that made it very difficult for those who were trained to make a decent living.

Bella had been at college for six days and was already rethinking her future.

Tuesday was better though when she sat in on her 19th Century American History: The Greatest Battles course. It was an entirely project based class and she was initially nervous. Bella didn't particularly like working in groups.

_If you haven't already been able to tell, definition of social awkwardness is right here: Bella Swan, Exhibit A._

But, she was lucky. Jasper Whitlock from Austin, Texas – a true southern gentleman – volunteered, much to her surprise, to be Bella's project partner for the semester. Not only was he kind and took the social pressure off of her, but he was damn smart in history, a self-proclaimed war enthusiast. Ms. Pacifist, as she were, was never so lucky.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" he drawled, interrupting Bella's forlorn doodling as she waited for class to start. She had gotten there twenty minutes early, one of the first in the small seminar room and immediately noticed the handwritten note inscribed on the chalkboard:

_HST230: The person you sit next to will be your project partner for the rest of the semester. No exceptions._

The tables were set apart so only two persons could comfortably fit at a table, sometimes three. Bella darted straight for one of the empty ones, wishing that there would be an odd number of students in the class and no one would choose to sit next to her.

"Um…sure, I mean no, I don't mind," Bella stumbled over her words shocked that someone was talking to her, wanting to sit next to her and was as attractive as he was. If she wasn't still so hung up on Edward she might contemplate flirting.

"You did read the board, right?" Bella gestured to the black chalkboard in front of them.

"Yeah, I guess we're partners for the rest of the semester. Jasper Whitlock, and you are?"

"Bella Swan," she said taking his outstretched hand and shaking it daintily.

"Nice to meet you Bella Swan. I have a feeling about this semester, I think it's going to be a great one," he smiled and Bella could have sworn the edge of it sparkled a bit, like in those cheesy commercials from the 1950s.

Jasper and Bella got lunch everyday for the rest of week. She noticed that although he seemed like a very collected and smooth guy, he also didn't have the greatest luck socially. His scrawny frame made other guys feel physically superior to him and he clammed up in front of girls who flirted with him, which happened to be every girl he came in contact with, except for Bella.

With Jasper added as a contact in her cell phone, the week went on and Bella fell into a routine. She would wake up, study or go to class depending on the day, grab a bite to eat with Jasper at the student Union if their schedules coincided, imagine that she saw Edward roughly four times throughout the day, study some more, then go to sleep and repeat. She couldn't get him out of her head as much as she tried. So, here she was Friday evening, contemplating that maybe if she just saw Edward, she could get him off her mind.

Bella had never been more physically uncomfortable though. Sure she had been in pain after tripping over her own feet and inability to walk in a straight line, which she was displaying quite accurately in the three inch stilettos Rosalie had forced her feet into, but discomfort? No, this was a new experience.

"C'mon Bella, stop pulling your skirt down. You look like you have a major wedgie or are trying to take a crap."

"Wow Rose. Can you be more crass?" Bella spat back a bit more sarcastically and licentious than she intended. She immediately felt reprimanded without a single look from Rosalie.

"I don't need the attitude Bella. I've had a really rough week and I need to let off some steam tonight," Rosalie glared back.

She wasn't going to put up with her ungratefulness. Bella had whined like a petulant and ill-mannered child the past two hours as Rose worked her hardest to flat iron her hair, put on enough makeup without her looking like a drag queen and found the sluttiest, non-slutty dress in Bella's size in her closet. It didn't help that the girl didn't own a single pair of underwear that wasn't 100% cotton. She was being a good, altruistic roommate who turned a small town girl with a wardrobe to match into a "don't mess with me" hot coed with New York flair.

She was even taking Bella out to a fraternity party despite Emmett's protests not to.

To say that being at college with Emmett was everything Rosalie envisioned was so far from the truth it was laughable. After being separated for a year, Rosalie had been looking forward to this time with such suspense and optimism, she even dreamed about it. Instead of frustrating Skype dates, texting, late night calls, and weekend visits after football season, she was elated just for her hand to be held on a Wednesday by the man she loved. But it was only Wednesday. She was in physical proximity with Emmett only one day so far this week. Between her classes, his classes, and the god damn football team, Rosalie was Emmett deprived and he didn't seem phased one bit. Sure he sent her sweet texts that he was missing her, but he couldn't take the time to pick up the phone or log onto Facebook chat? She even marched straight to the apartment he was living in only to arrive to see that it was empty, void of both him and his roommate Peter. Both were at some god-forsaken football brotherly bonding event, while Rosalie was stuck stomping her very nice designer shoes into the cheap carpet of his apartment complex with proverbial steam coming out of her ears and nostrils.

In her frustration she left Emmett a very loud voice mail message declaring that she was going to the stop light party at Delta Sigs Friday night and unless he called her back within the next five minutes she was wearing yellow. Ninety seconds later, Mr. Big Stuff was playing on her phone – Emmett was calling.

No, Rosalie was not going to be putting up with attitude tonight from anyone, Bella included.

"Sorry, Rose," Bella whispered. She knew Emmett and Rose hadn't been lovers in paradise this past week. In fact she hadn't seen Emmett once and she knew that as the week drew nearer to the end, Rosalie's increased testiness was directly correlated to Emmett's increased absence. Bella was beginning to think his scarcity was because of her. Did he tell Edward? Did he say something? Bella was reeling with panic.

"Rose, I really don't hope Emmett's not coming around because of me."

"What?" Rosalie flipped her head sharply to the side to look at Bella, completely flabbergasted.

"That's the most egotistical thing I've heard, and I've been dating Emmett McCarty Cullen for four years!" she exclaimed, flailing her arms in the air dramatically. All of Rosalie's frustrations from being Emmett-less were making her hysterical.

It was Bella's turn to wear a face sketched with shock. Egotistical was a word she had never heard used in the same sentence as her name before. She was a bit humbled.

"I'm sorry Bella, you're really not egotistical, but that is such an asinine reason," Rosalie breathed deeply as she sunk onto the stone ledge that wrapped around the fraternity house they were now standing in front of.

"Emmett hasn't been around because he's busy, no other reason. I just thought that all these feelings of missing him constantly would go away. I mean we spent two years apart and it was fucking hard, but we dealt with it and got through it. I felt like we paid our dues, but here we are again, living within less than a mile from each other and still hardly seeing one another!" she buried her head in her hands.

Bella didn't know what to do. Rosalie Hale had initially struck her as the last person who would ever need someone to comfort her – she was always so…_feisty_.

"It's only been six days. You still have an entire semester ahead of you and plenty of time to work out your schedules," Bella said softly as she rubbed small circles on Rosalie's back, relaxing her tremendously. Although Bella wasn't realistically convinced of her mothering capabilities, onlookers couldn't deny that she did have some pretty extraordinary maternal instincts.

"You're right," Rosalie sighed, regaining her composure, breathing deeply through her nose and out through her mouth like a yoga instructor.

"I'm usually not such a needy girlfriend, I think I'm just feeling overwhelmed with all these adjustments."

"Me too. Me too," Bella sighed almost pitifully in agreement. This past week had been one hell of an adjustment.

Trying to get used to sharing a small space with someone who appeared to be almost your exact opposite, learning that the guy you are madly in love with is an asshole, and rethinking your professional purpose in life, was all a bit taxing.

"I'm sorry, let's get over this pity-party and enjoy ourselves," Rose stated more assuredly as she stood up and straightened out invisible wrinkles on her tight fitting red bandage dress. Bella wasn't a guy but she knew that every man inside that fraternity house would be lusting after Rosalie Hale the minute she walked in. The beautiful long and flowing blonde wavy locks contrasted beautifully with her cherry red dress that accentuated all of her womanly curves. Yes, Rosalie Hale was St. Raphael's very own Scarlett Johannson.

"Remind me again why I'm stuck in green?" Bella winced at Rose's color choice for her dress. Why couldn't she look drop dead gorgeous in a slinky red dress instead of looking like a piece of asparagus?

"It's a stop light party, Bella," Rosalie dramatically sighed at the fact that she had to explain something to her utterly dense roommate for the third time.

"You wear red if you're taken and in a relationship, like me, yellow if you might be seeing someone but are open to a little fun, and green if you're single."

"Oh," Bella said disappointed she didn't like how Rosalie's voice became very blunt at the end. Didn't anyone have any compassion for single girls? Not only did you have to bear the burden of being unwanted, but you had to get stuck in the ugliest of the three colors.

Rose noticed the direction Bella's thoughts were taking her as she toyed with Rose's slinky green dress with a hint of disdain.

"You may not be used to wearing something that isn't plaid or flannel, but you look hot, if I do say so myself. Edward would definitely be jealous," Rosalie saw Bella's eye light up with hope at just the sound of his name and it frightened her that he had such control over her, "but it's not about him tonight, it's about you. It's about time you meet a nice guy who cares about you and is real."

Bella was slowly coming to terms with Rose's insistence that Edward only lived in her dreams and imagination and that the real Edward Cullen, son of Carlisle and Esme, brother to Emmett and Alice, was not worth her time.

"You're right. Tonight is about me." She said with confidence as she sashayed her hips with an overexerting womanly defiance as her and Rose walked arm in arm towards the front steps of Delta Sigma Alpha.

* * *

**2004**

"You look beautiful tonight," Edward whispered down to Bella as he held her far enough apart in his arms so that Mr. Banner, the school principal, wouldn't yell at them.

_Face to face, leave some space._

A part of him really just wanted to kiss the damn girl, but the other part wanted to run far away until he figured out why all of a sudden he wanted to kiss his best friend.

Bella bowed her head to hide herself from Edward's adoring stare and shield the thrill she felt at hearing him call her beautiful. It was the first time he ever said it.

_Edward Masen Cullen called me, Isabella Marie Swan, beautiful at our 8__th__ grade graduation dance as we slow dance to…_

Bella attentively listened to the lyrics and beat coming from the speakers on the stage. She had been too lost in Edward to know what song was even playing.

_And I keep thinking of that night in June_

_I didn't know much of love_

_But it came too soon_

_And there was me and you_

Bella felt insanely girly at that moment. She wanted to draw sickeningly happy pink and purple hearts all over the bathroom stalls at his simple four words.

"Can you believe it? High school next year! I'm so ready to get out of this shitty hell," Edward mumbled as he wrapped his hands further behind Bella's waist and her arms creeped protectively tighter around his neck.

"Edward!" she admonished at his increasingly foul language. Bella would never admit it to Charlie but it was in fact Edward who had taught her every curse word she knew except for the C-word. He turned ten shades of pink when she tried to goad him into telling her, her curiosity getting the best of her before he abruptly got up off his couch and ran upstairs into his bedroom until Bella finally decided that he wasn't coming back and went home.

"Oh Bella, say it. Say shit. You know you can," he teased as he spied Mr. Banner looking on authoritatively.

_Face to face, leave some space._

"Shit," she whispered.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't quite make that out Miss Swan," he smiled laughingly at her timidness.

This was his best friend Bella, not the girl who made him panic the first moment he saw her tonight in a kind of strapless navy dress that looked beautiful against her creamy skin. It was a simple dress, no ruffles, lace, or frills, just plain navy colored satin. It was exactly the type of dress Bella would wear, but all he noticed was one thing.

She had boobs. When did Bella get boobs? He had to run flying to the restroom to throw cold water on his face and remind himself that she was his best friend – the very same girl that he tickled to make her lose in Mario Kart. She then pushed him on the floor until they were wrestling…

_Damn it! Don't think about that. Bad idea. _

Edward instead reminded himself of the time he walked in on his parents in the kitchen last week. It calmed him down instantly.

"We're still going to be friends in high school, right Edward?" Bella asked suddenly as the song came to an end and the silence between her and Edward had grown too long. The lyrics were really resonating with her uncertain emotions, lyrics about remembering the good times and saying goodbye. Bella didn't want to say goodbye to the special boy who was holding her.

"Of course Bella. We'll always be friends," he said with every ounce of sincerity he possessed. There was no doubt in his mind.

"You look really handsome tonight," she whispered as she closed the distance between them.

_Face to face, leave some space. Screw it!_

This time it was Edward's turn to blush as Bella rested her head on his shoulder and he hugged her tighter.

* * *

Bella cowered in the corner of the house like the small mousey girl she knew she was. She felt like the combination of feline prey and a witness to a natural disaster with each shifty eye stare from a man she didn't trust as beer spilled, people fell, and furniture broke. She looked around for Rose, one of many dressed in bright red probably because no one could find a damn green dress she mused. Bella continued to nurse her plastic cup of cheap beer when she finally spotted her roommate dancing – more like grinding – with another girl. Guys from all over the living room were eying her as if she were a piece of steak and they were famished carnivores. It made Bella nauseous.

As the rap beat flowed into a new one, Rosalie slowly came out of her dancing trance and caught Bella's eye across the room. She marched over to her on a mission.

Bella hadn't known Rosalie for long, but knew enough that she should be very afraid of the determined and resolute expression encompassing all of Rosalie's facial features.

"Rose! Please! I can't dance! Please don't!" Bella whined and tried to dig her heels literally into the rug when Rose grabbed a hold of her forearm in an entirely too strong grip for someone who had been drinking all night.

_This is not happening._

"C'mon Belllla! Llllet lloose!" Rosalie slurred as they finally reached the throngs of their peers that were dancing. Rose was obviously drunk. Bella then saw her take her half full beer and chugged it.

Bella felt herself pulled uncomfortable towards Rosalie's body and was soon in the position of Rose's previous partner.

"Really Rose, I can't dance." Bella was now begging to be released from her hold.

"Ssure you can. Just lllet lllloose. Pretennnd like no one's watching and jjjust move your bodyyy."

Rosalie then provocatively ran her hands down from Bella's forearms to her hips guiding them in a rhythm to fit Lil'Wayne or Lil'Jon or Lil'who-the-hell's song about some variation of getting dirty.

Rose was trying to prompt the ginger who had been spying her and blushing every time she caught her eye. She may be taken and blushing timid red heads definitely weren't her type, but he seemed like a match made in heaven for Bella.

Surprisingly, it was Bella who slowly began to accept her torturous situation and took several deep breaths to release her tension. Her relaxation was short lived as she felt a bigger and harder body against her back and much larger hands around her waist.

"Hey Rose, who's your friend?" a terrifying voice said behind her. Bella turned to stone and was ready to bolt if only her feet weren't frozen.

Much to Rosalie's dismay, it was not the freckled ginger.

"Ed-ward get llost. No one llikes yyou," she slurred once again this time with a great deal of annoyance. Why did Edward always, _always_, seem to ruin her fun?

"I think we should let your friend decide," he enunciated by drawing the beautiful brunette's ass closer to his hips. He wasn't immune though to reading her signs, he knew she instantly became stiff to his touch but he wrote it off to just initial shock. He'd have her relaxed by the end of the night.

"So what do you say? Should I get lost?" he whispered seductively in her ear taking in a deep breath and noticing the familiar strawberry scent of her hair. It caught him completely off guard and he too stiffened.

Bella wanted to speak. To tell him to let her go, but she couldn't. She was frozen in time, not even feeling her own body.

_I must be dreaming. I have to be. This doesn't feel real. It isn't real._

The mantra kept playing on repeat in her head.

"You're wearing green for a reason. That definitely means that you should at least honor me with one dance, don't you think?" he continued in her ear after shaking off the ghostly sensation that overcame him with her scent.

That unexpected familiarity caught him off guard and to be honest knocked him off his game momentarily. He now was more determined than ever to woo this girl, not to be stunted by some strange inexplicable feeling. He would not fail. He never failed on a conquest.

"You really do look beautiful tonight."

But, fate was not on his side tonight as his last words lit something inside Bella. The last time Edward had his hands on her hips, he said those same words. It was the extreme sense of déjà vu that oddly brought her to reality and she slipped out of his loose drunk grasp in haste, pulling Rosalie along with her.

No one had ever run out on Edward Cullen before. He didn't know what to do. He didn't even get to see her face, just her beautiful exposed alabaster back and soft chestnut hair. She reminded him of someone but he couldn't quite place it.

It took him some time for his thoughts to resonate with him that he had to go after her, but by the time he did she was lost in the sea of party goers and already out of the house running down the streets of collapsed drunkards away from him.

The walk back to their dorm at one o'clock in the morning was much quicker for Bella as her mind ran on fast forward speed, replaying every breath, every touch, every syllable of her last few minutes in the Delta Sigs house. She was completely deaf to Rosalie's blabbering on how drunk she was, the cute red head that she swore would have come over if Emmett's ass of a brother hadn't, and how much Bella really must hate him too.

It wasn't until Rosalie tripped over her own two feet, taking Bella down with her as they neared their dorm room door that Bella took in fully how wasted Rosalie really was. Once again, reality and the matters at hand came crashing down on her like an avalanche. How easy Edward made it for her to get lost in vertigo!

"C'mon Rose. We're almost there and then you can go to sleep, but not now. Please, not now."

Rosalie tried to stand up but needed more of Bella's strength than her own. With a few more incoherent words and more stumbling she was finally able to collapse on the futon.

College aged instincts and watching _Lifetime_ movies on the Sunday afternoons she spent with her mother, reminded her to get Rose a glass of water and a bucket. She rolled her onto her side and placed a fluffy fleece blanket over her.

"Bella, Idon havma ceys," Rose mumbled after drinking the water Bella had practically forced down her throat.

"It's OK Rose. Go to sleep. We'll talk in the morning."

"No," the indignant drunk emerged.

"I don hav ma keyeeees," Rose said more emphatically before finally passing out.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Bella mumbled as she pulled at the roots of her hair. This was all too much for her. This dress, this party, dancing, _him_, drunk Rosalie, losing keys, she couldn't deal with all of it and the panic that she earlier suppressed was rising in her blood.

"Emmett. I'll call Emmett," she continued to voice out loud her thoughts. She awkwardly and tactfully slid Rose's blackberry out of her bra where she kept all of her possessions when she went out and quickly found Emmett in the contacts and called him.

He didn't pick up.

But after leaving a blank voice mail message because she was so overcome with frightened uncertainty the device began to light up indicating an incoming text message.

**hey babe. cant talk. whats up? u back safely? - Em  
**

**Emmett, it's Bella. Please call me. - Rose  
**

Within seconds the phone came alive in her hands.

"Is Rose OK?" a frightened and muffled voice rushed on the other line.

"Yeah she's fine now. She's sleeping off her drinks. I'm sorry to worry you."

"It's OK Bella, but I really can't talk, we're not suppose to be up and I don't want to get in trouble before the game tomorrow," he said yawning. Bella instantly felt terrible for waking him up the morning of the first game of the season.

"Sorry Emmett. Rose left her keys at the frat house we were at and I really don't want to go back there alone," she shuddered thinking of all the cat calls her and Rose got as they stumbled back to the dorm and most of all thinking of having to confront _him_ again. She didn't think she could handle it if she caught a glimpse of his face. It would mean that he really was real and this wasn't just a dream.

"Shit. I swear you can't take her anywhere!

"Look, on the floor above you, the RA's name is Riley. He should be in his room. Let him know what's going on and that you're a friend of mine. He'll make sure to go with you."

"Thank you! Thank you so much Emmett!" Bella breathed a sigh of relief. She needed to have someone with her if she was going to even be in the same room as Edward Cullen again.

After coercing their suite mate, Monica, to keep an eye on Rose Bella found herself rounding the corner onto Delta Street with Riley Biers and a very awkward and heavy silence.

"I can't thank you enough for walking and coming to pick up Rosalie's keys with me," Bella thanked him manically, resting her hand on his foreman emphatically.

It caused Riley to blush profusely. He couldn't complain that a beautiful girl woke him up in the middle of the night asking for him to walk around with her on a late summer night. He was a romantic that way. But he did hope that he wasn't wearing his "Man of Steel" Superman boxers that he knew made him look like a tool.

"Really Bella. No worries. I'm glad you asked me and decided not to walk by yourself. It's not safe even if you do possess pepper spray," he grinned sideways at her pink canister firmly attached to her key chain and she shakily laughed.

Riley wasn't the most perceptive male, but he could tell that something was a bit off about this girl. She didn't seem drunk but she wasn't entirely with it, lost in thought it seemed.

"I also wanted to apologize about my…ermm…" Riley struggled to find the right words to explain his state of undress that did leave him in nothing but those embarrassing red superman boxers and a blush to match once he woke up a bit and joined Bella in reality.

"Really it's OK, I swear I didn't see anything," Bella vomited words uncontrollably. She was never a good liar, but hoped with all her might that Riley's eyes were too overcome with sleep to notice that the entire time she explained the situation to him about Rosalie leaving her keys, her eyes were transfixed on the well defined area of his boxer briefs and not his face. She couldn't help it if the thick cotton stitching outlined a prominent part of his anatomy in a very contrasting hue.

"Umm…ok, that's good," Riley wasn't expecting that as an answer. What didn't she see? It wasn't like he had a girl in the room with him…

"Yesterday I had a guy I hadn't seen since I was thirteen walk in on me while I was in my Power Rangers underwear."

"Oh god."

"So I guess that kind of makes us even, right? Both suffering embarrassment at the hands of superhero cartoons," Bella joked.

"I don't know. Power Rangers? That's kind of lame Bella."

Bella pushed Riley a bit, as he skidded off the sidewalk laughing at her playful temper. The awkwardness was successfully broken until she stubbed her toe and went flying forward. Beneath her was a cold, hard body.

"Oh my God," Bella gasped as her hand went flying towards her mouth in fear. This lifeless body passed out on the cement sidewalk was none other than Edward.

"Bella, are you OK?" Riley was now crouched down beside her dually examining her scratched limbs and searching for a pulse on the strange guy passed out from what Riley suspected was an overdose on some type of drug.

Bella sat in shock, not responding to Riley's question, only staring at what she saw before her: Edward's sharp features frozen in unconsciousness. They hadn't softened like they used to when he was asleep she mused. She always remembered him to be angelic in his sleep.

"Bella, Bella, are you OK?" Riley asked again, now becoming increasingly concerned with the situation at hand, his calm exterior deteriorating rapidly with Bella's state of shock.

Everything turned into waves of incoherence for Bella. Her high definition world full of crisp contracting street lamps suddenly became a watercolor painting of blurry halos in the night sky. Voices grew distant, detached, deeper.

"I'm gonna call 911, this guy needs to go to the hospital," was the last she heard, before she closed her eyes too, shock completely claiming her body, and her head hit the wet, hard cement.

* * *

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has already reviewed (and will review) as well as those who put this story on alert. Thanks for taking a chance on me! Please let me know your thoughts or any other musings filling your pretty heads about this chapter's Drunkward and Scaredella. Until next time lovelies.


	3. Older But Not So Wiser

****_Disclaimer: Twilight is the intellectual property of Stephanie Meyer. I am merely playing with her characters to create new art under the guidelines set out by Fair Use. I am in no way profiting from the following. Also any associated lyrics are attributed to their respective authors as noted._

Again, this is rated M for mature. Please do not read unless you are 18+. This chapter includes some mild language and underage drinking.

* * *

**Part One: Young Adult**

Chapter Three: Older and Not So Wiser

"_Now we are older and  
Things disappeared somehow  
And I was thinking that maybe  
We'd stand a better chance if we met today…"_

**-I Adore You by melpo mene**

"Ms. Swan, your CT scan's normal and shows no sign of concussion," the doctor read unemotionally out of her manila medical file without making any eye contact.

"Is she free to go?" asked a smooth and calming voice next to her.

"I'd say so," the doctor pulled out his flashlight and began examining Bella's eye function, "If you develop blurred vision, a headache, or feel dizzy, come back and see us."

Bella nodded in understanding even though her mind was elsewhere. Sure, her body was laying in the hospital cot, but her thoughts were with Edward. When her and Riley got out of the ambulance, Edward was quickly transported away from them with no word on his status. The anxiety of not knowing whether his heart was still beating, his skin was cold to the touch or if he had fallen into a deep, unawakenable sleep was nearly unbearable.

"H-how is he?" Bella choked.

The doctor pretended like he didn't hear her question. He didn't know how Edward Cullen was and he wasn't the attendant on the case.

_Sure would be more interesting than cleaning scrapes on clumsy teenagers. _

"I'll send the nurse in with your discharge papers," the doctor excused himself and flitted away behind the privacy curtain to tend to babies with ear infections.

"Wait!" he heard Miss Swan's shaky voice yet again.

_She was a persistent little thing._

He could easily have continued on his way, never having to deal with this patient again, but his conscience was ridden with enough guilt from accidentally taking blood samples from the wrong patient earlier. Dr. Patel had been up for 48 hours straight and it was beginning to wear on him.

"Yes, Miss Swan?"

"Doctor, how's Edward, the boy that came in with me?"

"Miss Swan, I'm sorry. I'm not at liberty to disclose patient information."

"Please! I just want to know he's alright!" a lone desperate tear was starting to slowly fall down the apple of her cheek.

"Miss Swan, I'm not the attending on the case. I don't know his status. Again, have a nice night," and without further room for discussion, Dr. Patel was once again on his way to treat an infant with an ear infection.

_Oh, joy._

"C'mon Bella, let's head back to the dorms. I'm sure we'll find out more about Edward as the morning grows," Riley said solemnly as Bella took his arm to get out of the bed.

"No. I have to stay here. You can go, but I'm staying."

"Bella, be reasonable. It's 3:30 in the morning. You need to get some sleep."

Bella wasn't listening to Riley's logic as she decidedly made her way out of the Emergency Room and into the reception area of the main hospital. The dark, muted tones of the cheap and modern furniture stood in stark contrast to the sterile white walls and medical instruments she had been surrounded by for the past few hours.

"Excuse me Miss, could you tell me what room Edward Cullen's in?" Bella asked a cosmetically enhanced blonde. Her smile was just as fake as her bleached hair, orange tan, and long red nails. There was a sudden stabbing pain in Bella's gut as all of Rosalie's stories told her that this female specimen – a drastic opposite of Bella – was what Edward wanted.

"Are you ok Miss?" the blonde asked dragging each word out slowly as if Bella's native language was not English.

"Um, yes. What room?" Bella shook her head to erase her thoughts and ground herself back in reality.

"454. I already told you. He's still in – " the woman wasn't able to finish explaining before Bella was off towards the elevator and reading the directory to find what wing and floor the room was on.

"Bella! Wait!" she could hear Riley panting as she stepped into the elevator.

"Go home Riley, I'm fine."

"No, not…until I know…you're safe," he panted with his large, muscular arms resting on his bent knees.

Another errant thought entered Bella's mind, once again Edward Cullen in a starring role.

"What floor Bella?" he prompted again as Bella was removed from reality.

"Oh, uh, four. Fourth floor."

"You know he's going to be fine," Riley whispered as the old elevator languidly ascended floor by floor.

Bella was in a manic state. He needed to calm her down. Ground her.

"They probably just pumped his stomach. It happens all the time. He'll be fine."

"Please Riley. Please, just stop," Bella softly chanted as if she were reciting a torturous tribal hymn.

It was hell standing in the elevator as it came to the fourth floor and steadied before opening its doors. At the first crack, Bella flew out of the shaft and ran in search of Edward's room, her eyes large, examining the patterns of the room numbers as her legs took her around curved hallways and outside a private room.

She stood frozen outside the room, like a treasure hunter who finally finds the gold in an underground cave after battling the elements and taking in its glory before slowly preceding forward to capture it.

This is it.

Her adrenaline was still forcibly pumping in her veins but her body was frozen from the shock of finally being a few feet from him. She contemplated whether or not she was strong enough to deal with what faced her on the otherside of the dry wall. She felt Riley approach behind her and finally walked through the open door and looked straight at a serene and sleeping Edward, exposed behind the privacy curtain.

"See Bella? He's OK," she felt Riley lightly rest his hand on her right shoulder. The gesture was…intimate and although that terrified her, it did calm her.

"I think I should stay," Bella whispered, mostly to herself, her eyes downcast at Edward's covered and still feet.

"You know, so there's someone here when he wakes up."

Riley knew not to argue. He was quickly piecing together that Bella knew this guy much more than she was letting on. When they rode in the ambulance over, she just said they had a mutual friend. Although, he didn't know what else was at work, he did know for certain that Bella was purposefully not mentioning how well she knew Edward.

But, this was all for another day as Riley glanced down to check the time on his phone. It was late – or early – and he needed sleep.

"At least give me your phone so I can put my number in it," Bella quickly plucked out her phone from her tan satin clutch.

"Call me if you need something," Riley yawned as he programmed in his number and handed Bella her phone back.

After Riley left, Bella sat down in the stiff chair beside Edward's bed, just staring at him, memorizing the hollow contours of his cheeks and down his jaw line. Maybe he lost all of his baby fat in puberty, or maybe it was because Riley was right and he just got his stomach pumped, but nonetheless he looked awful. Almost like a drug addict, his pale skin now translucent, limbs skinny with his muscles appearing to have suffered atrophy, and hair greasy and knotty. He was a ghost of the Edward of her dreams but at least this Edward – who could be comatose for all she knew – had blood running beneath his flesh.

Bella continued to unabashedly stare at him as he laid stiffly in the same position. She had this encompassing need to feel the heat of his skin to ensure that there was indeed blood running beneath it. Her hand slowly, and slightly reluctantly, gently came to lay on top of his, even if there was a millimeter between them. She pulled back quickly from her violating act. Once again though, after having the feeling of him linger she became bolder and more curious. Now her small fingers delicately played with his – caressing them, moving them off the blanket, just savoring the need to touch him. A loud, high pitch shriek from the hallway disrupted Bella's fun, making her scarlet in the face as the implications of her actions crashed into her and Edward groaned deep and guttural.

"I need to see my baby! I don't care!"

Clunky heels could be heard hitting the tile in a running rhythm and Bella knew exactly who it was: Esme Cullen.

She flew out of her seat, smoothed out her skirt and took a mental appraisal of how she must look: bloody scrapes on her head and limbs, tangled hair and too much exposed skin in her slutty dress. This was not how she wanted to look upon her reunion with the Cullens.

_Why didn't I just leave? _

_Because the gravitational pull he has on you can't keep you more than two feet away from him._

"Ed-ward!" Esme breathed, struggling to restart her panicked heart.

"Oh dear!" she cried as she ran to the left side of his bed opposite Bella to kiss his forehead. Bella looked on enraptured by a mother's love for her son. It was a powerful sight.

"Isabella Swan."

She heard a questioning accusation from her left as Esme's eyes looked up at Bella and away from her son as soon as her husband's words registered.

"It is you! Oh Bella! Thank you! Thank you! Esme stumbled around Edward's bed in haste before pulling Bella into a tight and engulfing embrace, and continuing her chants of gratitude.

"C'mere Love. Let the poor girl breathe," Carlisle, always demure and collected pried his wife's arms off the battered teenage girl.

"Are you alright Bella? It looks like you had a rough go of it yourself," Carlisle visually appraised her scars and wondered if she had suffered a concussion.

"Yeah, um, I'm, ah, fine. Just fine. You know me. Clumsy to a fault." Bella forced out a shaky chuckle, nervously tugging on the light green cotton dress that made her feel dreadfully exposed.

"By the looks of that nasty scrape on your forehead, I think you should probably be checked for a concussion."

"Dr. Patel down in ER already ran a CT scan and said that it came back negative." Bella implored, not wanting to draw any further attention to herself. She didn't know how to judge the situation. Would they blame her for Edward's state?

Dr. Cullen didn't press the issue. He wasn't convinced until he saw the films himself but remained placated.

"Bella. What happened?" Esme asked frightened. Carlisle intelligently guided her to the chair at the foot of Edward's bed.

"I'm not sure. I was walking down the sidewalk and tripped over him. He was passed out on the ground. When EMS got us to the hospital he was still unconscious. They were talking about a possible overdose, but I'm not sure."

Esme tightly closed her eyes as Bella finished. She was holding back tears of anger at her son's stupid decisions and of fear that he may not be all right. Carlisle appeared walking back through the doorway with his reading glasses on and a chart in his eyes. Esme and Bella didn't even know he had left.

"It looks like he has alcohol poisoning. BAC of 0.55. They have him on thiamine and glucose IVs. He's under observation until the morning when they'll check…"

"Oh dear God!" Esme muttered throwing her head back against the wall in frustration.

"What are we going to do…" she continued muttering to herself.

"Check on what?" Bella probed seeing that Dr. Cullen froze on the end of his sentence.

"Nothing dear. Just check to make sure he's all right," he plastered on a small smile and closed Edward's file. Bella knew there was something he wasn't telling her. He was so much like Edward in that way.

* * *

**2004**

Edward didn't mean to be eaves-dropping, but that's always how it begins.

"Terrible, terrible," he could hear his mother sigh as she kneaded some type of dough.

"I know, but they'll both be happier this way," his father spoke soothingly as he laid a comforting arm around his wife's shoulders.

"The poor girl! Who's she going to stay with? Neither one of those two are fit to raise a teenager on their own!" Mrs. Cullen's voice got louder as she continued.

"Shh…" her husband alerted her that they had a son who would be particularly concerned by this news wandering around somewhere in the house.

"They'll work something out. I can't picture Renee staying in Forks if nothing's holding her here," Dr. Cullen spoke much softer than his wife.

"No!" she gasped throwing her hand over her mouth.

"You don't think she'd take Bella with her? Do you?"

"I hope not, but it might not be a bad idea to have Edward branch out more."

"It would kill him if she moved," Mrs. Cullen breathed forgetting her dough and finding solace in her husband's arms as he assured her that would never be them.

Edward tried to piece together the words he heard. Was Bella going to move? Why did he need new friends? He found his back sliding down the wall shared with the kitchen and living room as he sat down cross-legged and contemplatively.

"Hey son, Bella's on the phone for you," Carlisle found him after searching high and low with the cordless phone in hand.

"Hi Bella," Edward's voice was morose and Bella was immediately worried.

"Hey Edward, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," he muttered kicking a piece of dry mud off his light denim jeans.

"Oh, okay," Bella's voice fell. For some reason she felt hurt by the tone of his voice. It was like that simple word was a door slammed shut in her face.

"So I guess you don't want to come over then?"

"Nah, I'll just see you at school tomorrow."

"Okay."

"See ya, Bella."

And before she could respond he ended the call.

For the rest of the week Edward was distant and brooded more than usual. At first Bella thought whatever she was talking about just didn't interest him so she talked about something else. He just muttered yeah when she mentioned last night's Mariners game. After the next bite of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich she talked about the new book her Grandma Swan sent her. However Edward's universal disinterest of dystopian novels and baseball sent a bold sign to Bella that he didn't want to talk. At all.

It was hard being friends with a boy like Edward. He constantly let his feelings and worries encompass him. Thirteen-year-old Edward had the nerves of a forty-three year old mother. The worry that his best friend might not be in school tomorrow because she would move to a different town encompassed the boy so much he found it difficult to function.

He was sitting in the cafeteria with Bella, Angela, and Ben. He was picking apart his tuna salad sandwich and Bella watched the ignored pudding cup she gave to him at lunch everyday. He looked at it completely disinterested, as if it was invisible and didn't exist. His gaze finally found hers as Angela asked her a very pointed question about how cute Tyler Crawley looked today in math. That's when he noticed the faint glimmer of moisture against her cheek. Without a word, he took her arm and pulled her out of the cafeteria with him and into an adjacent hallway.

"Bella! Were you crying?" he demanded in alarm, all crevices on his face widening.

"No," she mumbled, unconvincingly per the norm.

"When?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Bella, I want to know."

Bella scowled down at her folded arms, across her chest. How was she going to get out of this?

"Why won't you talk to me?"

"I'm talking to you right now."

Bella glared at him.

"BS."

Edward sighed trying to quell the foreseeable inquisition.

"Can you come over to my house tonight?"

"Sure, I'll call my Mom. I'll just tell Mrs. Cope I forgot my homework or something so I can use the phone."

Before Edward could chicken out and tell her not to bother, Bella had scampered off to the office to deceive an authority figure and misuse taxpayer property.

* * *

**2008**

"Bella?" Rosalie said in an ironically quiet voice as she tried to lull Bella out of her deep slumber, jostling her curled up arm several times for good measure.

"Bella!"

Finally the lethargic college student grumbled incoherently before slapping the onerous Rosalie away from her.

"Go away Rose, I'm trying to sleep."

"Bella, wake up it's almost three o'clock in the afternoon. The Cullens are waiting downstairs."

Suddenly the lethargic college student wasn't so lethargic as Bella sat up in bed, resting back on her elbows and blurrily looking at her roommate between crusty eyes.

"Did you just say the Cullens are downstairs? As in Dr. Carlisle Cullen and his wife, Esme Cullen?"

"For Christ sake's yes Bella! That's exactly who I'm talking about. Now stop playing games and get dressed, we're going to the hospital to see Edward."

Bella rubbed the yellow crust away from her eyes and immediately began her protest.

"Uh, no Rose. You may be going to the hospital with them to see Edward, but I'm not. I'm staying right here."

"You've got to get over your fears and just face him Bella."

"I did Rosalie. I was the one that rode in the fucking ambulance with him last night not knowing if he was going to be OK or not. I think that's enough fear factor for me for one weekend," Bella said with the most anger that she had come to recognize in her voice in years.

Rosalie Hale had just pushed one button too many. As Bella stormed past her and into their adjacent bathroom, slamming the door behind her and turning on the shower in haste, she contemplated apologizing for her clipped tone, but figured if Rose thought it was time to face her fears, then it was also time to stand up to Rosalie Hale's pejorative comments.

The door to the dorm room closed quietly as a chastised Rose let herself out and an equally guilty Bella sat on the closed toilet seat absorbing the steam from the running shower.

She should have left with Rose.

She should have strutted down the hospital hallway with confidence.

She should have looked Edward directly in the eye and…

She should have done a lot of things, but this was the real issue at hand, not that she was necessarily afraid just that she had no idea what to do.

What do you say to someone you haven't talked to in roughly four years, rode in an ambulance with while they were unconscious, and now are going to visit them in their hospital bed? She didn't think there was a manual for that.

Tears of confusion, frustration, and fatigue began to saturate her eyes. She choked on her quiet sobs as the unsteady stream from the old showerhead turned from scalding to freezing. Both ways she was numb.

The incessant knocking from the door that connected the bathroom to the opposing suite room was the only thing that gradually pulled Bella out of her painful depreciation.

"Sorry Carla," Bella mumbled to her annoyed suitemate without any form of excuse. She didn't have the energy to come up with a compelling one and Carla was smart enough to notice that Bella's blotchy red eyes were indicators that something was indeed rotten in the state of Denmark.

Without waiting for any response Bella locked her respective door to the bathroom and plopped down onto Rose's futon, her hair tied up into one towel and her body wrapped nakedly in another. She stared at the black television until the towel gently fell out of her hair and air-dried, unattractive dry waves of brown hair littering her face.

Her buzzing phone finally knocked her out of her trance. It was her mother. She debated not answering, but knew how persistent her mother could be. If she didn't talk to her now, Renee would just keep calling until she did.

"Hey Mom."

"Bella! How are you? Do you just love it there? Tell me everything!"

Bella tried to put emotion into her voice, she knew she sounded so unenthused compared to her mother. She was definitely her father's daughter.

"I'm good. Things are good. School's good."

"Well I'm glad, but I want to know more! Are you and your roommate getting along? Have you made any friends yet?"

"Yeah, my roommate, Rosalie and I get along fairly well. We went to a party last night."

Bella didn't feel any shame in telling her mother about partying. As long as she was safe, Renee practically relished in her youthful behavior, never one to deter her boring daughter away from typical teenage fun.

"Was it a frat party? You were safe, weren't you?"

"Yeah, it was and I was safe. It was called a stop light party where you wear – "

"Oh! I've heard about those. There was a story about them in Cosmo last month. You remember Sherri, right? She was the girlfriend of one of Phil's teammates when he was playing ball in Phoenix."

"Ye –"

"Well she moved here to Jacksonville when she broke up with her boyfriend and she was thinking about hosting one of those, because she's looking for a new guy and thought it would be less weird than doing those speed-dating things. I mean, how are you supposed to really connect with someone on a deep level in only five minutes?"

"Mom I don't think people go to those things to find their soul – "

"Yes, it's true that the moment I looked into Phil's eyes I knew we were meant to be. He's exactly what I need right now. He's grounding me, you know?"

"Yeah Mom, Phil's great."

"I'm so lucky to have such a supportive baby girl. I love you sweetie."

"Love you too Mom."

Bella could hear muffled yelling in the background.

"Look baby, I got to get going, but Phil and I are planning a trip to come see you as soon as we get enough money saved for a plane ticket."

"Really Mom, you don't have to do that. I was actually thinking it might be nice if I could spend Thanksgiving or Christmas with you."

"As much as I would love that I don't think that's going to be able to work this winter. We'll be traveling at Thanksgiving with the team and then we're going to Phil's brother's for Christmas. Let's plan for Easter, maybe?"

"Yeah we'll talk about it later."

"Make sure to call me next week and have fun baby. You're only young once. Remember I love you to the moon and – "

"Back. I love you too Mom."

"Talk soon sweetie."

And with that, Bella's call with her mother ended and she felt like she had just run a marathon. Talking with Renee for any great length of time on the phone was always exhausting, and to say she wasn't disappointed that she wouldn't be seeing her mother for at least another six months was false. She knew her and Phil wouldn't get on a plane to see her, especially if they were planning a trip for a little less than three months from now. But it still hurt – the silent rejection associated with your mother not planning on seeing you for the holidays.

It would just be her and Charlie in Forks. Suddenly thinking about Forks didn't bring back the horrid high school years post-Edward Cullen's disappearance from her life, but instead the many moments at the Diner she spent with him, or at his old white mansion of a home that to her knowledge still stood vacant – no one in town able to afford the property taxes. She didn't want to go back there either. All she could think as she sat on her roommate's purple futon was how she let Edward Masen Cullen ruin her life.

* * *

A/N: I'm back! Hope the month of June treated you all well. I know I for one have freckles galore - gotta love that summer sun. Please let me know your thoughts or any other musings filling your pretty heads. Until next time lovelies.


	4. Headfirst

A/N: Again, this is rated M for mature. Please do not read unless you are 18+. This chapter includes some mild language and underage drinking. Also this is a long one, clocking in at over 7,000 words. Enjoy!

_Disclaimer: Twilight is the intellectual property of Stephanie Meyer. I am merely playing with her characters to create new art under the guidelines set out by Fair Use. I am in no way profiting from the following. Also any associated lyrics noted for inspiration are attributed to their respective authors._

* * *

**Part One: Young Adult**

Chapter Four: Headfirst

"_All these faces, oh how they adore you  
with every blessing, every strength of a storm  
And it seems to me it all worked out so different  
funny how distance and time, you don't change at all…"_

**-Cloud Nine by Ben Howard**

A week had passed since the frat party and Bella hadn't seen much of Rosalie. She had been spending her weeknights at Emmett's, secretly breaking team rules. Bella supposed he was getting pitied for his brother nearly killing himself with alcohol a week ago – how that translated into getting a free pass with your girlfriend was unknown, but she wasn't complaining…too much. The dorm room felt empty without Rose but Bella also didn't know what to say if she saw her. Their paths hadn't crossed since Rose left Saturday afternoon with the Cullens to see Edward at the hospital and Bella wasn't too pleased with how she treated her.

It didn't help that Bella's paranoia of seeing Edward everywhere was now accompanied by the burning she felt on her hip bones where he had touched her the night of the party. Everything about him was consuming her and he wasn't even conscious for most of it. The way his sharp features rested on the white sheet of the stretcher in the ambulance, the way the plastic tubes were stuck up his nose in the hospital, his hollow cheeks. All in all, Bella was beating herself up, about Rose, Edward, being bitter with her mother, and poor Jasper was bearing the brunt of it.

At lunch she was short with him, dismissive and aloof of his ideas for their project proposal.

"So, I was thinking that we focus our project down to explain why the Civil War was the most unique war in terms of artillery use and…" Jasper began to trail off as he noticed what had become to be Bella's almost permanent dazed look. She hadn't been with it all week.

"Bella."

"What?" she sat up straight as if someone awoke her in the middle of the night to run a fire drill.

"You were out of it again. What's going on?" Jasper pressed, closing the lid of his MacBook with finality.

"Noth-"

"Bella, we're friends. Please tell me. What happened last weekend?"

"How do you know about last weekend?" Bella crossed her arms over her chest and if her dexterity would allow, tried to raise a critical brow.

"I don't. You haven't told me anything." Jasper began to pack his things into his leather messenger bag, preparing to leave.

"I'm still trying to make sense of it," she confessed, although it was more of a half-truth than a confession. She was indeed running the series of events on rewind, but her thoughts spent more time planning on what she would say next to Edward and how they would meet rather than trying to contextualize the few hours she was in his presence.

"Well when you're done, call me. I'll write up the proposal and fill you in later. But don't expect me to do the rest of the work this semester," Jasper nearly spat as he left the table bitterly.

"Jasper, don't – "

"Really, Bella. It's fine. Take the weekend to get your head back on straight and we'll talk Monday," he shrugged her off and walked out of the Union and through the quad back to his dorm in De Tours, or what the Midwestern students had shortened to Tor.

Bella sulked back into her plastic chair in the middle of the Union cafeteria and knocked her forehead on the laminate table before resting it there for a few unsanitary moments.

"I really am hopeless," she muttered.

"Is there something you wanted to share with the rest of the class Miss Swan? Muttering isn't very becoming of a young lady," a smooth voice said from behind her that made her freeze in place.

"Fuck," she said much more clearly this time, but with much less conscious thought.

The smooth voice turned into a manly guffaw.

"Yup, Mr. Banner definitely wouldn't find that very lady-like," Edward chuckled as he went to sit in the seat Jasper had just recently vacated, attempting to mask just how altered he was by Bella's use of that particular curse word.

"You don't mind do you?" he asked before sitting down and taking Bella's wide-eyed frozen expression as encouragement enough.

"I wanted to say thank you. For…uh…you know….Friday night," he leaned back dangerously in his chair as if he were seven again and was still trying to beat gravity whenever he got the chance. He scratched that phantom itch at the nape of his neck that appeared whenever he was uncomfortable.

_Am I making him uncomfortable?_ Bella worried.

"Um, it's no big deal. You would have done the same," she rushed.

"Maybe the Edward you used to know, but the Edward of last Friday night wouldn't." he confessed leaning across the table, eyes focused on her, and all four legs of the chair steadily on the floor.

"We all have our bad nights."

"I bet you don't."

Before Bella could come up with at least a plausible argument, Edward broke their back and forth.

"I've been working up the courage all week to talk you. Have dinner with me tonight? We need to catch up," he unsuccessfully tried not beg.

"Ed-"

"That is unless you have plans, but I just assumed after your friend left the way he did – "

"You were spying on me?"

"More like admiring from a distance," he smirked and contemplated winking cheekily until the Bella he remembered from middle school appeared.

"BS."

"Like I said I've been waiting all week to talk to you. It doesn't help that I see you wherever I go – "

"I know the feeling," Bella muttered underneath her breath.

_Why did he have to go and be so damn charming? _

She needed to resist. He had just been giving her the run around a short while ago with his cryptic self-effacing statements.

"What?" Edward asked before continuing, "anyway, I figured when you just so happened to be in the same cafeteria at the same time as me, this was my chance. So I waited for him to leave and now here I am. Satisfied?" he spat with an eerily similar distaste as Jasper moments before.

"Yes," Bella responded timidly at his confession.

"Well, fine. Good. So, dinner?" Edward asked a little more demanding than before.

"Yes."

"Oh. Ok. Surprisingly that was a lot more trying and yet quicker than I expected. So, say 6? I'll meet you at your place?"

"Um yeah, sure. Where are we going?" Bella asked, trying to figure out how Dr. and Mrs. Cullen were going to let them see each other if Rosalie was correct about Edward practically moving off campus and living with his parents temporarily.

"Well seeing as I'm practically under house arrest, it's going to have to be somewhere in town that doesn't serve alcohol and has a great senior discount."

"Oh."

"Don't worry, I'm sure the 'rents will make an exception when I tell them I'm going out with you. Since you walk on water and all – "

"Edward, I didn't mean it that way," Bella began to feel sympathetic to his plight.

"I know. I'm just a little wound right now."

"It's ok. This is a little odd for me too," she confessed.

"Yeah. Odd. Right. So, I'll see you at 6."

And with that Bella and Edward scheduled their first real date.

* * *

**2004**

"Isn't Orlando Bloom hot? I swear what I wouldn't give to be Keira Knightley's character in Pirates of the Caribbean. I can't wait for that movie to come out this summer," Bella sighed as she huddled around Angela's computer as they searched through Google for attractive pictures of celebrities.

"Well you could, you don't have any boobs like her." Jessica responded filing her nails on Angela's bed while flipping through a contraband issue of Cosmopolitan she snuck into the house of Reverend Weber.

"Jess could you try to care about people's feelings?" Angela defended Bella, but Bella herself didn't seem to be too phased by the comment.

Her A cup was small and she would like to have boobs one day but they had seem to have gotten a bit larger recently and she was convinced that by graduation she wouldn't have to stuff her bra anymore.

"Sorry Bella."

"It's no big deal Jess."

"Oh! Let's take this quiz!"

"Ugh. Jess could we not? You know those Cosmo quizzes freak me out and my Mom's right downstairs," Angela groaned, pushing herself away from the computer in her rolling chair and silently asking Bella for support.

"Oh stop being so paranoid Ang," Jess groaned before mumbling that she had to do everything herself.

She securely fixed two pillows from Angela's papasan chair in the crack of her bedroom door, just like she had seen her brother Matt and his friends do when ever they smoked those awful smelling cigarettes in his room that looked more like grass than tobacco.

"Ok, Bella go grab some paper and pens. Question one: You spot a cute guy from across the room at the party. You:

Walk up to him, while trying to locate the restroom. When you "accidently" brush up against him, you give him an extra feel and a knowing look to follow you.

Stay where you are until he comes and finds you.

Ask your BFF to chat up his friend and get him to come over to talk to you.

"I know which one I would pick!" Jess exclaimed and furiously wrote down her answer with a mirth expression, "you read the next one Bella."

Clearing her throat before speaking in a quiet voice Bella read, "OK. Question two: You're on the rebound. For a night out you wear:

A leopard print mini with a black tank and exposed back.

A flowy halter dress that hits below your knees.

A pair of slim fit dark and distressed jeans with a boat neck bare midriff shirt.

For three more questions the girls scientifically decide with they're a bad girl or a good girl.

"Jess, you would select all As," Bella shook her heard teasingly.

"Hey now! At least I'm not prudes like you two! You might get some action Bella, if you flirted with Edward a bit. It's the 21st century, a girl's got to go out and get what she wants!"

Bella looked at her shocked. Never could she do that. Edward doesn't like her like that. He likes gorgeous blondes like Lauren Mallory, who Bella may or may not be saving up to buy a voodoo doll of. Looking at Angela for support, she instead found her friend shaking her heading vigorously in agreement.

"What? The boy is head over heels in love with you." Angela shrugged as if it's some universal truth.

* * *

"He is not! He likes Lauren," Bella dispassionately mumbled the last bit.

"He likes the whore?" Jess shouted.

"Jess! My Mom's downstairs!" Angela admonished.

"I don't think Lauren's Edward's type Bella. No offense." Jess ignored Angela.

Then a fateful knock on the door broke their discussion of whether or not Lauren's blonde hair was natural.

"Girls. I heard some words I hope were not coming for you. Will you please open up. Goodness! Angela, why is there a pillow underneath your door?"

_Busted. _

* * *

**2008_  
_**

Bella sat not so patiently on the futon while Rosalie kept on fixing her hair until a soft knock on their old creaky door alerted them that the person they had been waiting for all night was finally making an appearance. Ten minutes early.

"Ohmigod that's him," Bella started to hyperventilate.

"Shh. Calm down Bella. It's just Edward Cullen. If Jake Gyllenhal on the other hand were to walk through our door, by all means lose your shit and then come find me."

"I can hear everything you're saying Rose," Edward chimed from behind the door, and Bella froze at how clear and close his voice sounded.

"I was hoping you could," Rose sang right back with a sugar infused melody as she went to open the door, leaving Bella to her own devices.

As soon as the door was even cracked, Edward pushed his way in unceremoniously while his eyes immediately sought out Bella.

She was stunning.

He was gorgeous.

Her long brown curls, emphasized by the hot roller Rose used cascaded down her shoulders, ending right below her breasts that Edward had to admit looked pretty perky in her snug black top. God, he was a lucky man.

His long neck showed every protruding vein – it looked strong as it pointed towards a small opening of his chest granted by the light blue worn Henley hidden under what appeared to be an unequally worn gray tweed jacket. God, she was a lucky girl.

They're mutual ogling was soon broken up though by Rosalie's evil chuckle.

"Have fun you two and try not to eye fuck in public. Some people aren't as open to such explicit public displays of affection."

"Rose!" they both shouted an octave too high at her and then looked at each other as soon as they realized their shared behavior.

Coughing to get a hold of his manly voice, Edward brushed invisible dirt off of his tweed lapels and formally held out his arm for Bella to take.

"Me lady, I believe it's time to leave the heathen to suffer her own fate," he raised an eyebrow at Rosalie while Bella sweetly and softly chuckled.

"Why thank you kind sir," she continued to blush, thinking about how incredibly silly this all was with them both dressed fairly casually – him in his dark jeans and her in a borrowed, flared mini skirt from Rose per the usual it seems – leaving a dorm that perpetually smelled of a combination between pot and fabric softener.

"Damnit!" Edward ran towards his car deserting Bella outside the front doors as he began to catch the parking police just as they were issuing him a ticket. Bella couldn't help but laugh as his arms flailed in protest. She could tell the official was enjoying himself as she detected a slight smirk before it disappeared as the offensive white piece of paper was left ceremoniously on his windshield.

Bella walked over to the scene of the crime and instinctively began to rub circles on Edward's back, but as soon as her hand connected with what she could detect were fairly strong and defined muscles she pulled her hand back as if it were on fire.

The sensation didn't seem to go unnoticed by Edward himself, either.

"Maybe we should get going?" he murmured the look they shared intense and fiery, just like Bella's hand.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea," Bella responded equally softly and dare Edward admit, huskily?

After about fifteen minutes of tense silence in the car, Bella began to speak up.

"Edward, where are we going?"

"I thought I would take the scenic route so you could enjoy the sunset on the Lake," he confessed impishly feeling as if he was already revealing all of his cards. It was hard to keep a poker face with Bella – he felt like she already knew all of his secrets just by looking at him.

"It'll be another fifteen until we get there."

"And where's there?"

"My house."

"Oh," Bella murmured.

_He's bringing me to his house on the first date?_

Then Bella had to remind herself, this wasn't any first date. It probably wasn't even a date at all. They were just old friends catching up. His parents were probably joining them anyway. Instantly it felt like a balloon full of all of her sexual frustration and romantic yearnings burst into a cabin of platonic friendship.

"It was the best I could do. After last weekend, my parents haven't been too keen on me doing anything but going to class and coming home. It's like they planned this and it was all a part of the scheme that we just so happen to have our home a half hour away from the college I go to. They promised they would spend the night at the condo though so we don't have to worry."

"Condo?"

"Yeah, they bought a condo in the city a couple years back after Dad's company went public. It's their hideaway for a various number of reasons that I don't really like to think about."

"Oh," Bella responded once again, but this time it was with a disturbing understanding. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen always did seem to have a healthy marriage albeit not always a healthy amount of discretion.

"Your dad's company went public? I thought he was a doctor?" Bella focused back on appropriate topics about his parents.

"He was but we moved to Chicago so he could join his friend Dr. Barnes on a research venture with human insulin and gene testing that he was starting. They started up a biotech firm and were soon striking deals with pharmaceutical companies for human insulin and were awarded a patent for their gene testing. They took the company public and although you know my parents hate talking money, Dad made out really well."

"Mark Zuckerberg well?"

"Better."

"Wow."

"Thanks again for agreeing to tonight Bella. It means a lot just having a conversation with you. It's crazy how things came full circle?"

"Yeah, crazy," Bella agreed but still disappointed at how completely platonic this all seemed.

_Then why do I feel like I'm ready to combust in his presence? He's acting so calm, he must not feel this._

"Well, this is it." Edward declared as he pulled up the long, gated driveway from the back of the house that looped towards the front and then to the side.

"Oh my – " Bella knew she would be having to pick her mouth up the floor of the car as she laid her eyes on what had to be the most beautiful home she ever saw outside of Architectural Digest.

"Did your mom have some Chateau in France transplanted to Illinois?" Bella asked before her brain to mouth filter could fully function.

The deep, hearty and oh so dreamy chuckle of the beautiful man next her snapped her back to the reality of the cabin. He was so close. So handsome. She wanted to kiss him. This was her Edward. Sitting next to her – impossibly close. This was not the Edward Rosalie teased or even Tanya's Edward at which Bella internally spat. No. This man was hers and the weight of that thought overwhelmed her.

Reflected back at him were two doe eyes that showed a slight fear, but mainly a vulnerability that was buried inside of him. They may have been masked by sexy and smoky makeup – but he could detect their emotion nonetheless. He always could. Comforted by a feeling of home her presence brought to him, he fearlessly grasped her hand with a gentle and reaffirming squeeze before getting out of the car.

"I guess it's time to meet the parents." For the third time in this short evening Bella couldn't help but smile as she chuckled at Edward's corniness.

Bella tried to reign in her awe of the beautifully designed French Chateau that the Cullens called home, but it was difficult. Not only did the exact combination of elegance and comfort overwhelm her in the landscaping and architecture, but as soon as Edward led her through the side door and into what was really just one of the forgotten spaces in the home she realized that even their mudroom was perfect.

"Gnocchi all' Emiliana still your favorite?" Edward asked as he ushered Bella through a corridor and into a large spacious white country kitchen that made her want to drop to her knees and praise whatever deity created the space.

Edward continued to pull her along and out the French doors that opened the kitchen to the back yard. It took Bella a moment to realize that she didn't smell anything and if there truly was a promise of potato dumplings, vegetables, and cheese she would be able to smell it.

"Where are we going?" Bella giggled as Edward impatiently and playfully tugged her towards the door.

"Pool house," he spoke abruptly as he tried to rush them out of the house as if it were on fire.

"Edward?" a young high pitched voice screamed from somewhere far in the house and then rapidly screamed a great deal closer.

"C'mon if we run she won't be able to catch us," Edward began peeling off his jacket as if he were preparing to jump into the water and save a drowning soul, but Bella recognized that voice and planted her black ballet flats securely on the hard wood floors.

"BELLA!" the voice shrieked as soon as a pint-sized ball of teenage energy came to an abrupt halt in the dining room entrance to the kitchen.

"We were so close. We could have made it. God, why do you punish me?" Bella heard Edward talk to himself from next to her, not trying to lower his voice at all to shield his rudeness from his little sister.

"Alice. How are you?" Bella asked as soon as she felt arms wrap around her middle and squeeze once for assurance.

"Oh Bella! I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Ok squirt. You've seen her. Now let us go and quit with the melodrama," Edward tried to peel Alice's arms off of Bella to no avail. He must not have been trying too hard, because from what the worn fabric of his shirt was revealing, he had the strength to maneuver his barely five foot sister.

"I can't believe you're here! You have to see my room. My collection's grown since I've last seen you."

"Dammit squirt. She doesn't want to see any fucking key chains right now. Can you please – "

"Edward Masen Cullen. Don't you ever use the F-word in front of your little sis –

"Oh Bella. It's such a pleasure to see you again dear, especially under better circumstances. Please excuse my son for what seems to be his consistent bad behavior," Esme Cullen spoke in her classic elegant and prim speech as she went to engulf Bella in a less passionate but nonetheless welcoming hug.

"Sorry Mom, but she's being – "

With the simple raise of a hand Esme silenced her son and caused her daughter to stick her tongue out at him confrontationally.

"Mom, dinner's waiting for Bella and I in the pool house and I'd like to at some point this evening – "

"Talk about melodrama," Alice piped in waiting to attack her brother for his earlier jabs.

"Alice," Dr. Cullen spoke from behind his wife with a suitcase in one hand.

"Ready when you are dear…oh Bella. It's a pleasure to see you again."

"You can all stop acting so surprised. You knew she was coming over," Edward rolled his eyes as I noticed we slowly moved closer to the door.

"Yes son, but it's been almost half a decade since we last saw her. Humor us."

"Anyways, it's time for us to get going. Alice go grab your bag, I'm sure you want to get over to Charlotte's sooner rather than later. We'll see you tomorrow honey. Be good." Esme kissed Edward on the cheek as she said her goodbyes.

"Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid tonight Bella. He always listened to you," Esme hugged Bella goodbye to which she then directed her attention to Edward, who seemed to be looking anywhere but in her direction.

After half of the Cullen clan made their way out the door. Edward and Bella were finally alone and walking through his twinkling backyard. The sun had finally set and the garden was aglow, looking truly like a Midsummer's Night Dream in September.

"So all I need to do is cook the gnocchi and reheat the sauce and vegetables. Sit, have a glass of wine and watch the master at work." Edward declared as he draped his jacket on the back of one of the stools at the island where two place settings and unlit candles were placed.

"Wine? I don't think that's what Esme had in mind when she told me to make sure you don't do anything stupid."

"It's not for me, but you. I read that Merlot goes best with all' Emiliana dishes."

"Oh, are you a part time sommelier, Mr. Cullen?" Bella teased as she dug for dishcloths to rinse the dirty dishes in the sink before putting them in the dishwasher.

"Don't get cute Miss Swan…Hey, what are you doing?" Edward became outraged at the sight of Bella rinsing out the dirty mixing bowl that once held the seasoned meat.

"I –"

"You're supposed to sit and admire my work. Ooohing and ahhing when necessary, not cleaning up my mess," He spoke in a much softer voice as if he were calming a scared doe.

Drowned in his emerald twinkling eyes, Bella saw an opportunity to finally be honest with him tonight.

"I don't mind cleaning up your messes, Edward," she spoke hoping he would catch her meaning.

"But I don't need you to," it seemed he spoke with equal emotion and meaning, his eyes boring into hers and each word spoken deliberately - until he continued.

"Please, let me make you a nice dinner. I just want you to relax and enjoy yourself. Make up for being a jerk. You're finally back in my life and I don't want to scare you away by domesticating you."

"I think I domesticated you a long time ago. It was me after all that tricked you into vacuuming my front room."

"You didn't trick me. I volunteered."

"Because I told you that Charlie wouldn't let you watch the Mariner's game until you crossed a chore off the list."

"I knew you were bluffing. I was just humoring you."

"Uh huh. Whatever makes you sleep at night Cullen."

Then before Bella could savor in having the last word in their back and forth, stealth hands found the crevice of her waist and began dancing in a movement that had her screaming with uncontrollable laughter.

"Say it!"

"Nnn-ee-ver!" she giggled refusing to give in to Edward's evil ways.

"Say it, I know you remember, or else I won't stop tickling you even if your beloved potato dumplings overcook."

"Ff-ine! Edward! Hero of great…wit and geeee-nius. You are all-ways right!"

"Ahah! Victory."

"For the record, it was because of my concern for the dumplings, got it?" Bella quirked a serious eyebrow at the eighteen year old man that had transformed into the thirteen year old boy that she last left holding her under a white gazebo.

"Whatever makes you sleep at night Swan," Edward responded with a wink and before Bella could invoke her own retaliation she found herself hoisted over his shoulder and carried around the island.

"Put me down!"

"Stay!" Edward commanded as he plopped her down on the unoccupied stool next to his jacket.

"I'm not some mutt, Edward."

"Don't I know it – you're more difficult."

With that Bella chucked a stray carrot that was left on the island when Edward (or more likely Carlisle) had been chopping vegetables earlier. It landed square in the back of Edward's head, but was small enough that she was surprised he even flinched when the contact was made.

"Less food throwing, more ogling my cooking mastery," he responded unphased and continued stirring the tomato sauce without interruption.

"So, let's be honest for a moment. How much of this did Carlisle make?" Bella asked all nerves forgotten and truly enjoying herself.

Since stepping into the pool house she conveniently forgot the importance weighing on this evening. It was as if she travelled to an alternate universe or merely fell asleep in the car on the ride over and was lost in one of her dreams. None of the consequences of her actions or trying not to give away how irrevocably in love with him she was plagued her conscious. Instead she was living in the moment – savoring the easy-goingness of a friendship she would never fully be able to understand the significance of.

"Can I choose not to respond? It would really put a kink in my master plan to woo you tonight if I admitted it was my Dad that did the real legwork behind the wooing. That's just wrong."

When Edward turned around presenting a large bowl of the finished dish he knew he said the wrong thing when he saw Bella's stunned expression.

"Shit. I didn't mean to say that – "

"You're not trying to woo me?" Bella asked, barely able to speak. First she fell sharply down from the carefree cloud she had been sailing on with the word woo.

_Is it possible that he could want what I want?_

Then she fell even more firmly to the ground when he began to retract his statement.

"Maybe we can just eat dinner? It's all ready."

Edward was now flushed with a blush as brilliant as the one Bella usually wore and despite how convinced she was that Edward could never want what she wanted with such a plain and yet frankly odd girl like her, she knew there was something about this exchange that had thoroughly embarrassed him.

Dinner resembled the tension in the car as the two sat nearly an arm's length away stuffing their mouths with dumplings preventing either from having to talk.

After Edward couldn't stomach any more gnocchi and needed the comfort of Bella's close presence he reached out for the legs of her stool and her arm and pulled her until there wasn't any space between them.

"That's better," he breathed into her stunned and breathtakingly beautiful face. This was the girl that he now knew captured her heart so many years ago he was just too young, too stupid, too hormonal, and too confused to really recognize it. He always knew he was one step ahead of Bella and judging from the confused and surprised look on her face he knew he was again tonight.

"So dessert," he said quickly standing up and heading to the fridge with his back towards her, trying to figure out how he could make her feel what he felt.

"Tiramisu?" Bella asked hopefully when he turned around to unveil a glass Pyrex dish layered with coffee, cream, pastry, and more cream.

Edward merely responded with a pleased grin.

Sitting back down, dessert was still quiet but more comfortable now that they were sitting next to one another and gave up all pretenses of manners, scooping out spoonfuls of the delicious creation out of the original dish.

After taking the very last bite she could stomach, courage found Bella once again this evening hoping Edward would take the bait.

"I have to say Edward, you really know how to woo a girl."

"Look Bella –"

Bella moved off the stool and went to walk into the adjacent living room staring at the bookshelves that stood on either side of the fireplace.

She expected Edward to say something but all her ears picked up were soft footsteps and the flick of a switch.

Her arms instinctively went to hug herself, feeling the rejection looming. She had to hear it to know it to be real, but at the same time knew it would destroy her if she did.

"Just be honest with me Edward. Between all the things I hear from Rosalie, last weekend, who I remember you to be, and who I want you to be, all I want is the truth from you," Bella pleaded not realizing that she needed to say those things until it finally came out.

Once again there was silence, but she soon felt the heaviness of Edward's jacket drape her shoulders and caught the flicker of a spark in the fireplace. Then she smelled him. The mixture of basil and coffee from their meal and a musky scent that was just Edward.

"The truth is Bella that I'm a screw-up. The Edward you met at the party has been the real Edward ever since we moved to Chicago. I've been angry and confused. I still am. But then there's you. And it's effortless Bella. I have my best friend back and suddenly I'm not so angry or confused when you're near. I've grown to become so selfish these past few years and the most selfish thing for me to do is demand for us to pick up right where we left off that night I said goodbye to you in the gazebo. But you make me not want to be that selfish guy. So the truth is Bella, I'm whoever you need me to be."

It wasn't the declaration either of them had been planning for but it was exactly perfect. Exactly them. Overcome with too much – too many emotions, too many changes, too many memories – Bella buried herself into Edward's side willing the tears to not fall. But they did and his shirt dampened, although he didn't notice because despite Bella succumbing to the overwhelming stimuli, Edward was taking it all in. He had his Bella in his arms in front of the fireplace in his parents' pool house, all alone. It didn't matter what he felt about her. He would always be confused, but it would also always feel right to have her exactly where she was. He knew that.

"I think I'm going to need that glass of wine, Edward," Bella choked once she thought she could contain her emotions. She needed to relax though. The overwhelming moment of being in his arms, his words, just him – it was too much and she needed to be grounded again.

Wordlessly Edward gently guided Bella to sit in the loveseat facing the bookshelf she had previously been enamored with. As he collected the two abandoned glasses on the granite island, the 2004 Merlot and corkscrew, Bella sat entranced by the fire dancing in front of her.

Engulfed in the plush nautical cushions made her feel uneasy – almost too comfortable. She was restless. What did he mean whoever she needed him to be? What exactly did she need him to be? A best friend, boyfriend, study buddy…lover? No. They all sounded wrong. She just needed him to be her Edward. But who was her Edward? Had her version of him become so warped over the years with longing? Was it even fair to ask him to be that person?

The questions kept on tumbling into more and more when she heard Edward's footsteps trailing behind her. She had made her way outside where the unseasonable warmth from the day was still lingering. With her shoes long forgotten in the main house's mudroom, Bella went to daintily dip her right foot in the clear chlorinated water. The calm water looked so peaceful and she yearned to be a part of it. With ease the ripples surrounding her toes seemed to be just as calm.

"Alcohol and water. Not a very smart combination. Even I know that," Edward teased as he came up behind her and handed her a very full glass of wine.

"We'll be careful," Bella whispered the anxiety of trying to figure out what was going on between her and Edward still plaguing her.

"Are you sure you don't want to sit?"

Instead of moving towards the lounge chair, Bella set her glass down on the pool tile and set herself on the edge with both legs dangling in the water.

"Are you enjoying your classes?" Edward asked as he rolled up his pants to let his own legs gangly too, daring to brush up against Bella's shapely and creamy limbs even accidentally.

"Really Edward? You're going to ask me about classes…now?" Bella laughed humorlessly.

Stunned at her outburst and then sheepish at not saying the right thing Edward could only probe – exactly what he didn't want to do.

"What would you like me to ask you?"

"Ugh! I don't know. This is all just so overwhelming, so confusing. How can I possibly ask you to be what I need when I don't even know you?"

"Of course you know me Bella. You know me better than anyone else."

"I used to. By your own admittance you said you've been different these past few years. You called yourself selfish. You were always so generous. I knew it was you who slipped Mike Newton extra lunch money when we were in grade school after Gruber and his buddies jacked him."

Edward couldn't help but smirk, getting side tracked by Bella's exaggerated retelling.

"Jacked him? Really Bella? We lived in Forks, not the Projects."

"You know what I mean."

A quiet fell between the two as Edward tried to figure out exactly how to respond to Bella's unanswered inquiry. Who was he, besides the man who wanted to be whatever she wanted him to be?

"My name's still Edward Masen Cullen. My parents are still Carlisle and Esme. My annoying brother and sister are Emmett and Alice –"

"Edward ple –"

"No Bella. Let me say this.

"I used to live in Forks, Washington and then my best friend moved away to Phoenix. I was upset, stopped doing work at school, stopped caring."

Bella didn't want to hear about any pain he went through but at the same time listening to him confess that her moving away was just as difficult for him brought some comfort as terrible as it made her feel.

"All of my friends were your friends and without you there we didn't have much to say to each other.

"But you and Ben –"

"Bella," Edward scolded, narrowing his eyes at her and effectively telling her to shut up.

"When you left Bella my parents took pity on me and decided this was the best opportunity for a change. So my Dad called up Barnes and finally took him up on his offer. He had been nagging him for a few years now and Dad just couldn't quell his curiosity any longer. We moved to Lake Forest, rented a home for a few months until construction on Mom's dream home was finished – Dad's gift to her for agreeing to move. The idea of starting fresh was appealing. You were doing the same thing and not pining over me like some lost puppy – Chicago was my opportunity. I got a little wild, still am a bit wild. But I'm young and I thought you were out of my life for good. The only good in my life was gone."

"The only good? Laying it on a bit thick there?" Bella raised an eyebrow. For a moment she thought he was being really, truly sincere.

"I was being polite before, but shut up." Edward scolded and splashed the cool pool water onto her exposed knees and thighs.

"Anyways I had a girlfriend named Tanya in high school. She's a nice girl though so whatever Rose's told you, filter out the female jealousy. I get drunk often, but we're in college – we can do that. I don't make apologies to anyone but you Bella and I don't have excuses for my behavior. All I can say is that I never want to hurt you.

"Why are you crying?" Edward looked at her a bit more closely now, once he separated himself from his words and saw the moisture begin to build in her beautiful eyes.

"I'm just so overwhelmed. I was convinced that you never wanted to see me again. We lost touch and you weren't in Forks when I came back."

"You came back to Forks?" Edward nearly shouted, so exasperated at what now seemed to be a missed opportunity.

"After freshman year I moved back. I missed it too much. I missed you. Phoenix wasn't working out. Renee got remarried and I just didn't fit into the new plan."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there."

Edward scooted closer to her, their thighs touching and his left arm firmly wrapped around her small frame.

"It's not your fault. You had your own life to live. I've just been so wrapped up wondering about whether or not I'd ever see you again and if so what I would say. How we would be. I never could picture your response and now I'm just so, so, so…"

"Overwhelmed?" Edward guessed.

"Yeah."

"Well it's stupid to start over and we can't just go back to where we were."

"So what do we do?"

Looking towards the now empty bottle of wine between them and their half filled cups, Edward chugged the remainder like the good college student he was before speaking again.

"We jump in headfirst."

And he disappeared underneath the water.

* * *

A/N: *Swoon* I'll reserve my opinion of Bella's actions and behavior, but what do you think of this caricature of her? Naive? Doormat? Badass? Let me know your thoughts or any other musings filling your pretty heads! Until next time lovelies.


	5. In Between

_A/N: I know, a chapter so soon! Well, it's the shortest one yet, but I think still worth your time. Enjoy!  
_

_Disclaimer: Twilight is the intellectual property of Stephanie Meyer. I am merely playing with her characters to create new art under the guidelines set out by Fair Use. I am in no way profiting from the following. Also any associated lyrics noted for inspiration are attributed to their respective authors._

* * *

**Part One: Young Adult**

Chapter Five: In Between

"Said it's a culmination of a story and a goodbye session  
It's the tick of our time and the tick in her hair  
That made me feel so strange  
So I could call you baby, I could call you dammit  
It's one in a million…"

-17 by The Kings of Leon

Waking up the next morning, Bella found herself warm and comfortable but laying on something that felt very hard – like a body.

Her hands continued to roam the soft, firm plane they were lying on when she felt a bendy peak.

Definitely a nipple.

The thought made her jump, as did the squeeze she felt on her own appendage. Looking down at the owner of the at least half naked body below her, she noticed that he was out. Passed out with a shit-eating grin on his face and hands that were very awake…

"You ass! You're playing chicken!" Bella shouted at him, attempting to whack Edward's grin right off his face with her pillow, but instead causing him to burst into a fit of laughter.

"You started it with your roaming – and dare I say audacious – hands, I was merely acting reflexively."

It was then, when Bella felt the sheet pool at her navel, that she noticed her chest was bare as well.

Frenetically she sprang out of the guest bed, haphazardly wrapping the navy sheet around her body only to find out that southern regions of Edward were awake too. Honestly, it was the first time she had seen an erection, or more like tented boxer briefs, in the flesh and she couldn't tear her eyes away despite the inappropriateness.

"Shit!" she heard Edward murmur as he noticed where her undivided attention lay and he quickly, not with the least amount of grace, rolled off the side of the bed and knelt down beside it, his lower half covered by the bed frame.

"Where are my clothes? I have to find my clothes! I have to go home!" Bella breathed out boisterously, twisting her body in multiple directions to survey the bedroom for her missing clothes and finding nothing.

"They're in the bathroom," Edward shouted as he found his way in there to collect his own, hanging on the towel rack.

After she was dressed and had successfully avoided talking to him with the exception of anxious murmurs and scoldings under her breath, she headed towards the main house in search of breakfast items.

It seemed like the pool house rarely saw visitors who cooked as the refrigerator consisted only of the previous night's leftovers.

Sitting down with a bowl of half Rice Krispies and half Kashi, chomping away like the bad guys in Super Mario, Bella scrunched her eyebrows together trying to imagine the events that led to her waking up in bed with Edward.

There was his confession of wanting to be with her in any way she would let him, wine, her trying to decipher what that meant, more wine, swimming in the pool fully clothed, finishing off the wine, showering (separately of course – she hadn't drank enough for anything else to have happened), and lying down staring at one another –

"Bella! What are you doing here? Why are you wearing –"

"Alice! Ww-here did you come from? Weren't you at a sleepover? Oh my god, are your parents with you? Please Lord, please tell me your parents aren't here," Bella shifted her eyes away from Alice and to the digital clock on the microwave, murmuring to herself.

"Hey munchkin, why are you here?" Edward entered the kitchen to find Bella in the beginning stages of a panic attack, a natural reaction to Alice's overwhelming alacrity.

"It's noon Edward. I'm back from Charlotte's sleepover," Alice explained with an unspoken 'duh' but her relationship acumen, inherited from her savvy mother of course, allowed her to surmise that Bella had spent the night in a romantic way.

"How was it? Prank call anyone good?" he asked nudging Bella and playfully stealing her bowl of cereal. It was all that was needed for Bella to abate the blame she placed on him for coercing her into staying over.

Alice only huffed in response to his teasing, but was secretly, or maybe not so secretly, pleased at the relationship she saw blossoming before her.

"Do Mom and Dad know Bella stayed over last night?" she asked with singsong innocence.

"No and you're not going to tell them," Edward's seething response and flared nostrils ended the conversation before it went any further.

As much as Alice craved annoying her older siblings, she knew when she was pushing Edward too far. She could blackmail him later, now she wanted more Bella time.

"I can't believe you're here, in Lake Forest, Bella! We'll have to go downtown next weekend and go shopping! I've been dying to get into the new TopShop on Michigan Ave –"

"Enough squirt, we've got to get back to campus. I'll see you later."

Edward quickly grabbed Bella's elbow and they made their hasty exit to the mudroom and out the side door of the home to Edward's awaiting and already revved Volvo.

"Automatic starters. Gotta love them," Edward winked as he held Bella's door open for her like the good gentleman he was at least appearing to impersonate.

Once inside the car, Bella turned her body to face him over the console to ask him why they still had yet to put Alice on a sans caffeine diet, but instead felt a deep pressure placed on her lips. Aside from losing herself to the ultimate start of euphoria she was in just by his lips on hers, their actions from last night hit her equally hard.

_The giggles that escaped her were childlike and uncontrollable. They both were fairly inebriated from their lack of abstemious behavior as evidenced by the empty bottle of red resting on the pool deck. _

"_Edward I didn't bring a change of clothes. You have to take me home." Bella giggled as she climbed out of the pool fully clothed._

"_I can't drive. You can't drive. And there's no way in hell I'm calling a cab to take you away. You'll just have to stay the night," Edward murmured as his lips ghosted across Bella's long, lean neck down to her collarbone and savoring the strawberry and vanilla scent her hair and skin made at that apex._

_So lost in the sensations of his lips and hands roaming her back, Bella said nothing in response except for encouraging murmurs that the wine was keeping her from controlling._

"_Bbbut – "_

"_I promise to be a perfect gentleman. You can have the bed and I'll take the couch," he said looking her straight in the eye to assure her of his honorability. _

"_Well, if you promise to be a perfect gentleman, I don't see as to why you can't sleep in your own bed. I'm sure your parents spared none to ensure that their guests are quite comfortable when they stay over."_

_The alcohol not only made Bella brave but it seemed to deactivate her constant internal reflection. She was acting first and not even thinking second. She felt liberated and embraced her uninhibited self, especially as she became attuned to Edward's desires. _

_He was growing increasingly more excited at the prospect of where Bella's suggestion was leading them. He could offer to go to the main house and see if he could scavenge up some clothes for them to sleep in, but making it there without falling over or injuring himself in the process seemed improbable. _

"_I suppose you're right, but like you said, we're drenched and we'll have to let our clothes hang up to dry. There won't be too many layers between us."_

"_Well, I'm getting a bit cold. I wouldn't mind being wrapped up in an extra blanket or two."_

_That's when Edward felt the goose bumps on her delicate skin and the strong shiver rip through her body. It may have been an unseasonably warm evening, but it was still nearing September and the temperature had dipped quickly._

"_Let's get you inside."_

When Edward finally pulled away, it was out of necessity. The passion was still palpable in the small cabin, but the two shared a state of breathlessness.

"Thank you Bella. For last night, for now, for tomorrow. Thank you," Edward murmured half to himself and half to her. His words were his licentious prayer but for Bella, the lovesick girl who felt that her friend – and so much more – had returned to her, they were a promise.

"Put your hand on the gear shift. I'm going to teach you to drive a stick."

"If that was meant to be an innuendo, I think you can do better Mr. Cullen," Bella teased, giddy at the feeling of him grab her hand out of her lap.

"Seeing that it wasn't, I think I'll have to watch out for you Miss Swan. You might try to steal my virtue."

Bella never wanted this moment to end. Her back pressed up against the hard wooden door to her dorm room as Edward's adroit hands lay perfectly on her hips and lips murmuring what she believed people would call 'sweet nothings' in her ear.

Was this what it felt like to be in love, she wondered. It was amazing how in only twenty-four hours she was head over heels devoted to Edward Cullen.

Then her back gave way as the door that supported her opened. Edward quickly regained his bearings and pulled her to him before they could both fall into Rosalie's crossed and unforgiving arms.

"Will you two quit sucking face? I can hear you through the door and I'm trying to watch my boyfriend beat the shit out of Boston College.

"You two are welcome to join me as long as you keep it PG on the futon," Rosalie appeared stern face but her eyes undoubtedly danced with mirth.

"What about the bed?" Edward winked at Bella and dragged her into the small space, her cheeks flaming a brilliant hue of red.

Setting up a new bowl of popcorn and a few contraband bottles of Bud Light, which Bella abjured, still not over her hangover. Rosalie and Edward however comfortably reclined on the futon as if neither of them were previously intoxicated and watched St. Raphael's lead slowly diminish with an attention too keen for Bella's achy head.

"For the love of God Sanders, stop the play action, it's not working for you. Just set up a long play down the field, you've got a good arm, show them!" Rosalie yelled at the television as Edward leaned forward, gripping his second bottle of beer so hard his knuckles were beginning to turn white.

"It's not the play action Rose. If the refs would get their heads out of their asses and call some pass interference for the first time in their lives, we might have a fair shot at winning this game."

Between the griping, Bella couldn't help but smirk at Edward and Rosalie's animation. For all the animosity between them, they seemed more like brother and sister than foes. This – watching a football game with her roommate and Edward, yelling at the TV, making inappropriate jokes, and just enjoying herself – was right, this was comfortable, this was belonging, this is what she craved; the mere simplicity of it all. Even if Bella didn't care for football, she didn't mind it with Edward by her side.

* * *

**2004**

Bella's eyes, albeit crusty, began to open up as the soft early morning sun streamed through the windows of the Cullen's guest bedroom. She was spending the weekend with the Cullens while her parents went out of town for a weekend away in Seattle. She hadn't been immune to their yelling and bickering that overwhelmed the house. Bella could only hope that this weekend would bring at least a temporary moratorium to the increasing antipathy.

After yawning and stretching out of bed, Bella could hear the faint electrical static from a running television down the hallway and padded towards where she knew either Edward or Emmett would be. As she opened the door towards the upstairs entertainment room she found Edward, Emmett, and Carlisle eating bowls of cereal and watching what appeared to be really old and really bad British television.

Completely engrossed in their program, the boys and Mr. Cullen ignored Bella even after she sandwiched her way in between Edward and Emmett on the sofa and began eating out of Edward's cereal bowl.

"What is this?" she asked Edward with a mouthful of what she deduced to be granola, cornflakes, almonds, and Rice Krispies.

Waving his hand at her, dismissing her question, Bella continued to eat away at Edward's forgotten cereal focusing her attention on masticating every bite and trying to understand why her best friend was so enthralled by an R2D2 knock off.

A few chuckles and nervous chompings later, the three overgrown boys fell back into their seats and began enjoying their breakfast again.

"Hey, what happened to my cereal?" Edward asked until his eyes focused on Bella for what seemed to be the first time and narrowed at the empty white bowl in her hands.

"Looks like Bella stole it," Emmett bestowed his accolades on her, "well done Belly."

"Hey! Don't call me that!"

"Well you seemed to think and act with your belly –"

"Emmett –"

"Why'd you have to go and eat my cereal Bella? I live for –"

"Excuse me, but what is going on in here? Some people like to be sleeping at seven o'clock on Saturday mornings." Esme Cullen appeared with a stern face that silenced the four aggrandizing voices and left them cowering.

"I'm sorry darling, we'll keep it down," Carlisle stood up moving towards his wife with an apologetic smile and open arms.

"The boys and I just finished up one of the oldies. You go back to bed and I'll have breakfast waiting for you when you get up," he kissed her cheek and subtlely guided her back towards their bedroom, playing the role of doting husband.

"Well, I'm already up Carlisle," Esme huffed, but her gusto had lessened and to even an untrained ear, her teasing could be detected.

"There are other ways I can think up in which you can make it up to me."

The pair was last heard walking down the hall giggling before Emmett, with the dexterity and speed of a ninja, ran to close the door disgusted and terrified.

"Our parents are the grossest," he breathed out as Edward continued to sulk on the couch.

"Now I can't go and refill my bowl," he pouted to which Emmett and Bella rolled their eyes and ignored his whining.

"So what were you watching?"

"Doctor Who," Emmett responded in a tone of complete nonchalance, but his eyes danced with excitement as he tried to capture his younger brother's attention.

"Who?"

Now a full grin had emerged across Emmett's face, showcasing his expressive dimples. Even Edward was caught with a twitching lip.

"The Doctor."

"Who's the Doctor?"

"A Time Lord from Gallifrey who travels through space and time defeating evil and protecting the Earth," Edward piped in beginning an exchange with his brother that was so rhythmically timed, they could have been correctly mistaken for having rehearsed.

"Also known as the ultimate badass and coolest alien ever."

"Beats every superhero I know."

"A legend."

"Wait, he's an alien superhero?" Bella asked as she scrunched her eyebrows and begin retreating inside her head as if she was solving a very difficult math problem about trains. One word came to Edward's mind as he studied her furrowed brow: cute.

"Yeah, I guess you could put it that way, but he's more than that…he's a Time Lord."

"What's a Time Lord?"

"Oh yee of little knowledge. Come and educate yourself young grasshopper."

Appearing reluctant, but secretly intrigued, Bella followed Emmett out of the room feeling increasingly artless. Sitting in front of his laptop she was faced with a black screen and lots of dancing gifs. It was sci-fi hell.

"It's way too early for me to read reverse text. Where's the Wikipedia page?"

Both boys scoffed at her remark, offended that she could speak in such an ill manner towards what was one of the most, in their humble opinion, sophisticated fan sites online. Walking out of the room with their shoulders straight and heads held high they told her she couldn't come out until she could recount to them Dalek history.

Bella really would have preferred that math problem.

* * *

**2008**

Class was supposed to start in five minutes and Jasper was alone at his two-person desk. Bella was never late, punctuality was probably her middle name if her parents had some type of time fetish when they gave birth to her, Jasper mused.

_That really didn't make any sense. I'm so off, it's not even amusing._

Life was not going so well for Jasper as of late. Bella seemed completely disinterested in anything he had to say these days and for being what he considered his really only friend, aside from his roommate Peter. His parents were moving again and forgot to tell him, leaving his only mementos the ones currently in a small shoebox in his small dorm.

The annoying disequilibrium generated in the air with someone's wheezing and the horrendous sound, prompted Jasper to quit his doodling. Bella was seated right next to him, looking flushed. She had all the symptoms of someone who just completed a physically demanding workout, but the smile teasing at her lips proved she was anything but tired.

"Where were you?" Jasper asked but didn't get an answer because Dr. Bernard-Banner had just began his dulling lecture.

Minutes seemed like hours as their history professor began single-handedly ruining Jasper's favorite battle of the War of 1812.

_You never answered my question, where were you?_

Jasper pushed his notebook just slightly to Bella so that she noticed his message.

_I didn't have a chance. _

Bella wrote on her own notebook in response, taking a long pause before nudging her spiral notebook.

_You can't blame everything on Doctor Double Bs. Now's your opportunity though._

_Doesn't it seem so odd that someone who spends an hour and half twice a week on a lecture about guns that he is obviously as a chest banging proclamation of his testosterone levels, hyphenated his name when he got married?_

Dr. Bernard-Banner was in fact the husband of Dr. Banner the gender studies professor who both Jasper and Bella had next semester to fulfill their world citizenship and social justice requirement. She was notorious for her sexuality lectures that made her St. Raphael's very own Dr. Kinsey. The two were still trying to figure out how a university started by Jesuit priests could keep such a provocative and beloved professor on tenure.

_Bella, you're evading…_

_That's a great impression of my dad._

Frustrated with her responses, Jasper roughly tugged his notebook and began copying down the nonsensical words on the projected PowerPoint that were supposed to be an outline of the lecture, but really shared more semblance with a New York Times crossword puzzle.

When class finally ended and the students began rushing out of the classroom in fear that their professor may start talking again if they didn't, Jasper attempted to get answers from Bella again. But, rather than waiting for him to pack up his things and follow her out of their row, she had fled with the same hasty speed as their classmates. As he headed out of the room, even more pissed than he was last Friday when he all but damaged the screen on his laptop with the force he used in closing it, trying to make dramatic exit out of the cafeteria after his conversation with Bella, he spotted Bella leaning up against the white cinder block walls.

She wasn't alone though. In fact, it was really difficult to make out that is was Bella with her back pressed against the wall as she appeared all but engulfed by a tall, bronze haired guy who Jasper guessed to be maybe a junior. Scoffs and snickers started to break out from his fellow passerby as they saw Bella and the mystery man as well. It wasn't exactly kosher to be pawing and making out with someone in the hallway, and the excessive PDA left Jasper and others feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

Deciding he needed to get out of there and quickly, Jasper ducked into the nearest men's restroom to take a leak. As he washed his hands he saw the same guy Bella was previously playing tonsil hockey with walk in. Trying to figure out a way to strike up a conversation with a total stranger while he's at the urinal proved fruitless as Jasper heard his name called from behind him.

"It's Jasper, right?"

Jasper turned around to see the guy in question walk up next to him towards the sinks.

"I'm Edward, I believe you're friends with my girlfriend Bella?"

* * *

A/N: Hmmm. What did you guys think? I wonder how Bella's relationship with Edward is going to change her other friendships? What about Jasper, Riley, and Rosalie? Also, who else out there is a Doctor Who fan? Let me know your thoughts or any other musings filling your pretty heads! Until next time lovelies.


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